


You Can't Fix Me

by Halest0rm3



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/M, Humanstuck, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-12
Updated: 2014-07-19
Packaged: 2018-01-19 01:59:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 41,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1451203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halest0rm3/pseuds/Halest0rm3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vriska's messed up life has left her broken. She's despised by her mother, beaten by her father, and seperated from her sister and best friend Tess. She's learned to fight, to not let anyone hurt her ever, to not let anyone close. John sees something in her, a broken angel that he wants to save even if its impossible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Strong as the Sea

**Author's Note:**

> For this story im going to try and make it less fluff and more sadstuck. I personally love John/Vriska and think theyre perfect together. That said this story is not going to be just a ship. Its going to have a story beyond the John/Vriska relationship.

Several years back...

“Read me a story Tess!!”

“Isn't it past your bedtime?”

“Oh come oooooooon Tess just one little story”

Your name is Terezi Pyrope and you can never say no to your little sister. She's just too cute. 

“Ok you little rascal, what story do you want to hear?”

“Tell me the one about the fish!!!”

You start the story. It's a beautiful story about a fish named Nemo and his dad, Marlin. You've told it to Vriska more times than you can count but she never gets tired of hearing it. 

“And so Nemo went back home with his dad and Dory and they lived happily ever after”

“You tell the best stories sis!”

“I'e told you before Vris, its not my story. I just saw it in a movie”

“Well yea sis but you tell it the beeeeeeeest”

You can't believe how much you love your sister. She's the best sister a person could ask for. You pull a stray lock of hair back behind her ear and kiss her on the check.

“I love you Vriska”

“I love you too Tess”

She closes her eyes, and for a moment everything is perfect.

Then its all ruined.

“I HATE YOU! WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHOOT YOURSELF AND DO US ALL A FAVOR”  
“OH YOU WOULD LIKE THAT WOULDN'T YOU??? THAT WAY YOU'LL BE FREE TO JUST SLEEP AROUND WITH WHOEVER THE HELL YOU WANT!!!”  
“I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS SHIT, IM LEAVING!!!”  
“OH WOW THAT'S A SURPRISE!!! I SURE AS HELL DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!!!”

You and Vriska both sit up at the sound of yelling and stomping downstairs. You feel a knot in your throat as you struggle not to cry. It had been long enough since the last fight that you had begun to hope that maybe they had made up. The front door slams shut with a crash thats heard from their room. The car starts with a roar and tears away from the house. Your mom is still downstairs shouting her lungs off at the husband who can no longer hear her. You know from experience that she's probably nursing a bottle of whisky right now. 

You look at Vriska. Her eyes are bright red and she's holding you tightly like she's afraid of being alone. You need to be strong for her, for Vriska. 

“Why can't Mom and Dad be more like Marlin and Dori Tess? Why can't they be happy?”

The question breaks your heart. Vriska is too young to have to go through this.

“I dont know Vris, I just don't know”

She expected that response. Vriska stuffs her head in your shirt and starts sobbing. 

“I want a family Tess” she gasps out in between sobs.

You hold her close because you don't know what to say. You hold her close and wish to god you knew how to help her.

An hour passes like this. Sometimes you think Vriska will finally stop crying but then you hear a drunken shout downstairs or a crash of a whiskey bottle and then your heart breaks again as you see your sister collapse once more into sadness.

“Tess?”  
“Vriska?'  
“Promise you'll never leave me?”

A lump rises in your throat. She's giving you a look that just melts you open and all you want to do is say yes even though you know its a lie. You just want her to be happy again.

“Yes Vriska, I'll always be here with you”

You just lied to your sister, the person you love most in the world. You're a terrible person.

“Don't cry Vriska”

She looks up at you puzzled, her hands still gripping onto your shirt. 

“You need to be strong Vris, thats the only way you survive in this world. Be strong and no one can ever hurt you”

You reach for the brush and start to untangle her hair. Its a mess of twigs and knots from playing hide and seek outside but you do the best you can to make it clean again. 

Vriska`s all cried out but her face is shiny with tears. 

You use your thumb to dry out the skin beneath her eyes. You reach for your makeup kit and take out the blue eyeshadow. 

“You can be like the sea Vriska... Beautiful but dangerous”

You use the blue eyeshadow under her eyes. Once youre finished you pull out blue lipstick and color her lips a dark sea blue. Looking at her you realize that her left eye is a lot more red and stuffy than her right eye, probably from rubbing against it with her fist. You go to your closet and pull out an old pirate halloween costume. From it you take a worn eye patch. You pull the strap slowly behind her head. 

“Done”  
You hand her a mirror to look at herself. 

“There Vris, noone can hurt you now cause youre the sea'

She looks in the mirror for a long time, so long that you think that she must not have liked it but just when youre about to ask her she turns and hugs you violently.

“I love you Tess”


	2. First Day of School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its the first day of school and John sees a new girl. He tries to become friends with her and recieves an unexpected surprise.

The first day of school is quite honestly your fourth favorite day of the year, after your birthday, Christmas, and Halloween. It's the day when you get to see everyone come back from summer vacation and hear a whole bunch of interesting stories. You are John Egbert in case you didn't know(hopefully you know who you are, I mean unless you're like schizophrenic or something). Anyway you are John Egbert and you have just sat down with your friends to eat lunch. 

“Rose your hairs pink!!!”

“Yes John thank you I hadn't noticed that my hair was in fact a pinkish color until you were so kind to point it out.“

Rose Lalonde is... weird(or enigmatic as she likes to call herself). Not in a bad way or anything, she's actually really cool and you wish you could be as weird as her, but she's definitely what anyone would call normal. You notice its not just her hair thats bright pink, but her whole outfit. A pink shimmering dress seems to ripple like the sea constantly even though Rose is sitting perfectly still. Pink boots are tied with pink laces. A pink skull necklace somehow manages to look intimidating. Her trademark mismatched earrings(Rose believes matching earrings are a symbol of conformity) are a pink serpent and a pink lightning bolt. 

Oh thats another thing about Rose. She loves to dress up. People like you and pretty much every other student in this school wake up and pick whatever worn out t-shirt is on top of the laundry stack. Rose, however, has to have a different look every day. One day she'll be a wasted college girl(she says it was an act but Dave swears she was actually drunk) and the next a punk goth chick. Today it seems she's going for a debonair high society aristocrat who got dunked in a vat of paint. 

Sitting next to Rose is your half sister Jade. She's pretty much the coolest sis a guy could ask for. A modern day hippie, she has a t-shirt on that says “Save the Blue Footed Booby.” She says its a real animal which kind of makes you wonder how they came up with name. Did like a really horny scientist find it and decide to play a huge prank on a whole species? Jade looks like the type of girl who couldn't hurt a fly but you're not fooled. You know that her grandpa taught her to shoot and to fight better than pretty much everyone in this school. 

“So whats with the pink?” asks Jade. 

“Im protesting against the blatant discrimination against other colors by the Blue Man Group. It's despicable the reverence they hold for a single color on the spectrum without even a thought as to the feelings of the other colors. Therefore to resolve this most aggregious situation I am starting a group called The Pink Girls Group. We will fight for colorspectrum justice”

Your best friend Dave, also Rose's brother, leans in from the other side of the table and whispers to you “Mom went and said that pink looks good on Rose. That was a week ago and first thing Rose did was go and buy enough pink clothes to clothe an army.“

Oh so that was it. You never really understood what the deal was between Rose and her mom. Apparently they despise each other and constantly one-up the other in a war of passive-aggressive behavior. You still remember the time that Mrs. Lalonde gave Rose a book on necromancy for her birthday. The dead crocodile with its guts ripped out and the burned inverted pentagram in her front lawn aren't images you're going to forget anytime soon. It took Jade a month to forgive Rose for sacrificing an innocent animal and using its guts to burn an offering to the heathen gods. You're still not sure how exactly Rose managed to find a dead crocodile though Dave swears it was on Ebay. 

Dave, in contrast to his sister, looks pretty much the same as always. A worn Broken Record t-shirt, skinny jeans, converse. Broken Record is Dave's favorite band and he has forced you to listen to them a couple of times but you honestly don't get their music. As far as you can tell it's a mix of like 20 different genres. Dave is one of those kids that's just naturally cool without having to do sports or wear fancy designer clothes. And of course he has the Strider Shades on, a red pair of shades that you've never seen him without. 

The conversation gets progesively weirder and weirder. When you hear Dave and Jade start talking about whether or not Smurf semen is blue you decide to go get a drink of water, if only so you won't have a mental image of smurfs masturbating in your mind all day. 

On your way back from the water fountain you see a girl sitting alone reading a book. You've never seen her before so you figure that she's probably new to the area. She has long dark curly hair with blue highlights spilling over a dark blue jacket. You slow down as you try and see more of what she looks like without acting too much like a creep. You notice its not just her hair and jacket that are blue. Her whole outfit has tinges of blue from her eyeshadow to her jeans. It reminds you of Rose's getup, but while Rose's one color fashion style makes her look tacky and bright, this girl actually looks... stunning.

You alter your course to stop by the girls table. You tell yourself that you simply want to make sure the girl isn't lonely but you can't ignore the voice in your head that reminds you of just how gorgeous this girl is. 

“Hai im John whats your name?”

She looks up at you for a couple of seconds, glares at you, then goes back to her book only now you notice that its not a book but a journal. You consider just getting up and walking back to your table since the girl obviously has no intention of being your friend but your dad taught you to always be nice to people even if they're not nice to you. Your dad's a pretty smart guy and he's given you a lot of advice over the years as well as some pretty sweet pranking tips. 

“Are you new to the area? I haven't seen you around here before and I know most of the people in the school, not because im popular, cause im not, but I like to talk a lot to people, and I've lived here all my life. What do you think about the school? It's a pretty good school, I like it anyway but most of my friends think im weird for liking school. Do you like movies? Im asking cause I love movies, especially the classics like Ghostbusters or any movie with Nicolas Cage but none of my friends really like the movies I do except for my cousin Jake but he travels a lot and right now he's in Africa and I just think it would be really cool if you liked movies cause then we could become friends and watch movies together.”

At this she laughs and without looking up from her journal she says “And what makes you think I would want to be friends with someone like you!”

That hurts a little but you're an Egbert on a mission and Egberts don't give up. Plus you got her to talk and her voice is actually really... vibrant. You're not sure what exactly you mean by that metaphor but that's the only word you can think up of to describe her voice. Vibrant and confident. 

“I dunno, some people say im a really good friend and I don't normally ramble like this just when I'm really nervous or something...” You trail off when you realize that she went back to reading her journal.

You decide to try once more and then give up if she still doesn't react.

“What are you reading? It looks pretty interesting”

She sighs and shuts her journal closed in exasperation. You conceal the huge dorky grin that threatens to come up when you realize that she's finally going to talk to you for real. Oh who are you kidding, you can never conceal the huge dorky grin that Dave likes to call “The Egdork face.”

“If I tell you will you leave me alone?”

You put on your best “wondering” pose and wait a couple seconds for dramatic effect before saying “I will most positively think about it”

“Its a journal from my grandma, Mindfang. Happy now? I answered your question now fuck off!” She opens her journal again. 

You have no intention of fucking off, or even just walking off normally. This girl and her personality intrigues you. Dad always said that curiosity runs in the Egbert blood and you are no exception. 

“Come sit with us, we have an extra chair”

She refuses to look at you. 

“At least tell me your name”

“Penelope Clearwater”

You aren't quite as big a Harry Potter fan as Rose(Rose had her bags packed a week before her eleventh birthday waiting for Hagrid to come) but you know that Penelope Clearwater was an alias used by Hermione. Plus this chick really doesn't look like a Penelope, more like a Raven if anything. 

“I don't believe you”

“Suit Yourself”

“come on tell mee”

“If you don't leave im punching that grin off your face”

You're getting even more nervous and instead of doing the sensible thing of going back to your table you start rambling again. 

“Dave says the same thing sometimes when im bothering him while he's messing around with his turntable but he doesn't really mean it so usually when he says it I just put him in a headlock and then he...”

Thats when she punched you. 

You've never been punched before. You and Dave would sometimes have strife battles but that was usually either wrestling or swordfighting. Never boxing. And you had never really gotten into any fights with anyone. 

First you realize that your falling backwards. Then you realize that she socked you in your eye. Then you hit the ground and your breath gets taken away. Youre still dazed so you stay on the ground watching the girl get up and sling her bag on her soldiers before turning to leave. You watch Dave go up to the girl and put his hand on her shoulder to stop her. He's probably going to ask her why she punched his best friend but he never has the chance. The girl grabs Dave and does one of those really cool ninja moves that you see all the time in movies but look way cooler in real life. Long story short Dave ends up on the ground just like you, minus the black eye of course. Jade and Rose go up behind you and pull you back to your table. They start talking rapidly near your ears in a loud whisper that seems more like a shout in your state.  
“John are you okay?”  
“What the fuck was that about?”  
“Who was that girl?”  
“Dirty bitch punched our John”  
“Jade watch your language”  
“What? She was a dirty bitch”  
“Yes she was very much the dirty bitch but we wouldn't want to pollute our dear Johns tender ears, now would we?”  
At that point you break your state of dumbshocked silence.   
“He-hey!!!! My ears are not tender”

After much questioning you assure Jade and Rose that “Yes, im okay,” “No, I don't know who she is,” “No, I don't want anything.” 

Dave comes back to the table with a slight limp but otherwise unharmed. “Oh I see how it is. John gets sissy punched he gets the royal VIP treatment, two nurses sticking their knockers in his face and he can play the wounded victim heroically hurt in battle. I get judo-flipped into the ground and y'all leave me behind for the crows”

At this you laugh. No matter the situation Dave always somehow manages to make it funny. 

Rose immediately goes to his side “Dear brother, you are quite right, I will lead you to your hospital bed and then we will proceed immediately with the Knockers treatment.“

“Not you sis” Dave says pushing her away playfully “You would probably end up poisoning me while I slept and then using my dead body for some weird necromancy shit. I wouldn't mind having Jade as my nurse however” He winks at her and Jade curtsies back. 

“My knockers are at your disposal brave soldier”

The conversation slowly degenerates back into a hogwash of random crap and normally you would join them because lets face it random crap is awesome but all you do is close your eyes(or the eye that wasn't already closed) and think about the girl. Who is she? Why is she so defensive? You would have liked to figure out her name, maybe even become friends with her, but you blew it. 

Why can't you get her off your mind?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading as always!!  
> I kinda liked how ch1 turned out better than this one but i've never been the best at introduction chapters so whatvv!! i promise itll get better!! I hv so many ideas coming up, so many irons in the fire.  
> As always more kudos means faster upload,  
> Love y'all <3


	3. Several Years Back but not Many

Several years back but not many...  
Your name is Vriska Serket and you are looking for your sister. Its been exactly 8 hours since you jacked your dad's car and drove off toward the house you were forbidden from seeing again.   
It looks surprisingly...normal  
You were expecting something to be different, anything to show that everything had changed.  
Theres the playground your dad built for you two before he became a drunk. You and Tess would have competitions to see who could swing the highest. Tezeri always won... except for one time when you went too high and broke your arm. There's the tree you two would climb. It has your initials on it 

Tz+Vr forever

You go up alongside the house, being careful to stay out of sight from the first floor windows. There above you is the room you used to share with your sister. She's in there. The sister you haven't seen in over a year.

You kneel down looking for a rock that you can use. There's one. You lift up and test its weight, then you launch it towards Tess's window. She looks out the window and while you expect the surprised look that she gives there's also a bit of... fear in her face.   
“Meet me in the hideout” she mouthes.   
You know what she means. There's an old ditch behind the house where you two would get together and pretend to be spies for her Imperial Condecension. It's hidden from the house so theres no chance that She will see you. 

You wait for Terezi there. She comes a couple of minutes later and hugs you. 

“Vriska what are you doing here? You know its dangerous, she's watching me closer than ever these days.”

“I know and I know I shouldn't have come... but I just wanted to see you. And in person not just flarping”

“I wanted to see you too sis, but I just don't want her to hurt you.”  
“She won't! Remember this is our super secret hideout? noooooooone can find it unless we tell them where it is”

“Yea...but”

“No buts Tess!! I came to see you and that's final!!”

“Okay Vriska you win”

You spend the next hour just hanging out like you used to. She tells you all the stories that she used to tell you as a child, ones about worlds far away and magical creatures. You tell her some new stories you have learned about pirates and adventure. 

“Only two more years of school Tess and then we can both go to college. Do you know where you want to go?”

“I don't know where yet, but I know what. Im going to study law and become the best lawyer ever.”

You believe your sister. She used to roleplay endlessly as a proscecutor with her stuffed animals Pumpkinsnuffle and Lemonsnout, two of the most notorious plushies the world had ever seen. She would make a great lawyer.

“What about you Vris? What do you want to be?” 

You think about it for a minute. A couple years ago you would have said pirate but that was when you were younger and you know now that there's no such things as pirates nowadays. In all honesty you have no idea and you're about to say so when another voice cuts in. 

A voice you really really hate.

“I told you never to come back. I told you and your bitch father to never set foot near this house again.” Her voice is deadly quiet, to the point where you have to strain to understand her. You wish she was screaming, you wish she was mad. If she was her usual bitchy self then you wouldn't be as scared as you are now. She's holding a rifle and you are suddenly very aware of just how isolated you are. If you screamed right now nobody would ever hear you.  
“What did I tell you I would do if I caught one of you two near here again?” You know the answer of course but your tongue doesn't want to work and your eyes keep shifting involuntarily towards the rifle.   
“What did I tell you I would do?” Her voice is still a whisper but her eyes shout at you, an endless cespool of hate. You stand frozen. You should run, or plead for forgiveness, but all you do is stand there.   
“I said I would blow your fucking brains out. And unlike your father I keep my promises.” She pulls up the rifle and aims at you. You close your eyes. 

“Mom back off!” Terezi leaps at the rifle and tries to wrench it from her hands but despite her years of almost perperpetual inebriation Mrs. Pyrope is actually freakishly strong. She takes back her rifle and hits Terezi over the head once with it. Terezi crumples to the ground, unconscious.

The rifle points its way towards you again. “Ill give you a 10 second headstart and then im shooting your brains out”

“Go”

You're no longer frozen to the grass. You are running faster than you have ever run, but its not fast enough. Any second now youre going to feel a bullet rip through your head and that will be the end of Vriska Serket. 

One gunshot, but no pain. Another gunshot. You thank all your lucky dice that your would be killer is apparently not the best shooter. 

Almost there. The woods are mere seconds in front of you and then you'll be safe from the crazy bitch whos shooting at her own daughter.

You'll make it. You have aaaaaaaall the luck remember? You're still telling yourself that when your right arm explode into fire; fire that doesn't let you think, fire that doesn't let you move. Fire that makes you want to die. 

Its a relief when you finally pass out.


	4. Slowly, and then all at once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You fall in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait!!  
> I swear i'll try to get the next chapter up faster,  
> Love y'all,  
> Thanks for reading <3

John POV  
You race through the hallways and open the doors to the bus ramp to see the last of the buses turning out onto the street. You are John, and like a chump you just missed your bus. It honestly wasn't your fault! You tried to hurry to your locker and then leave but as it turns out Eridan Ampura has the locker right next to you. 

Eridan Ampura. 

You made the mistake of talking with him a couple of times last year and since then he's decided to become your official friendstalker. 

 

_A couple of minutes ago_

“OhheyEridandidn'tseeyoutherehavetogo...”

“Wwoah John wwait up don't you wwant to talk for a bit?”

“I would love to but bus really go now should I” you speak all yoda-ish and gesture wildly but to not avail. He puts his arm around you and you shudder involuntarily. Seriously why does this guys skin feel so slimy? It's probably all the moisturiser he uses(and brags about... constantly)

“So John, how wwould you feel about going on my private yacht this weekend? Feferi was going to come with me... but she said she was busy.” His puppy dog expression would look more genuine if you didn't know for a fact that his hair gel was shipped in from Paris and cost more than the entire contents of your backpack combined. 

“I would love to Eridan, I really would, but I actually have plans this weekend”

“Oh wwell that’s fine... I guess. I've just been feeling really depressed lately, and I think Fefs starting to avvoid me and I kind of wanted to talk to a friend.”

Oh god. He's such a dork you almost pity him(but then again its pretty hard to pity the dude who drives his own sleek purple Ferrari to school every day)

“Hey John maybe you can also help me with Fef, right? I knoww you helped her friend Nepeta and I knoww Feferi likes me but I just dont know what to doooo” His whiny voice can be a real killer sometime. 

“Umm sure Eridan whatever you need dude”

“So you'll come over to help me today? Were having lobster for dinner”

“Umm I don't know Eridan, maybe? How about you ask me later but I should really catch my bus so bye.”

You duck under his arm(more like slide under with how greasy his skin is) and run to the buses.

You can make it. 

Eridan might have wasted forever talking to you but you'll make it. 

You can make it. 

_Back to the present._

You didn't make it. 

Still you're John Egbert so you won't let a little walk home mess up your mood. After all you had a pretty interesting first day of school and in your opinion interesting is always better than boring, even if it means getting a black eye from a girl you kind of can't stop thinking about now.

Your house is only like a mile away but you'll have to walk through the dangerous part of the city where its not exactly safe to walk alone. Still it should be fine. Most of the gang fights don't take place until after dark and Dave has taught you how to avoid attention(even if his idea of teaching you stealth is popping up behind you for a whole month without warning and whacking you with a shitty sword). 

You whip out your PDA because someone is sending you messages.

turntechGodhead starts pestering ghostyTrickster  
tG: John!  
tG: Dude where are you??? I saved you a seat.  
gT: Sorry Dave, Eridan made me miss the bus  
tG: Gillface made you miss the bus? Not cool bro   
tG: This is hurting my cred bro. Im sitting alone like a young 18 year old girl ditched the night before prom and some of these freshmen are giving me weird looks.  
tG: Okay im pretty sure the chick across from me just flashed me  
tG: Does it count if the person flashing doesn't really have boobs?  
tG: John, if I end up being taken advantage of by a freshman chick, become depressed, and end up killing myself, i'm haunting you for leaving me all alone and vulnerable   
gT: Haha Dave you can't haunt me! I'm the Ghosty Trickster!! ;)   
gT: (hehehe)  
tG: John... you're lame as hell  
gT: Love ya too bro  
tG: Yeah whatev just don't get shanked walking home or ill have to hunt down your killer and im way too busy for that shit  
tG: Oh and Rose told me to tell you that were all hanging out at our place tonight  
gT: Sounds great!!  
gT: See all of you guys in a bit 

You start to walk home but a couple of blocks away from the school you hear a muffled cry of pain from behind a building. You get closer and see none other than Mystery Girl from the cafeteria with her back against the wall, glaring daggers at Equius Zahhak the schools quarterback and state champion wrestler. Her nose is bleeding, her face is bruised, and judging from the cry of pain you heard she was probably slammed against the wall by Equius. To be honest she looks pretty bad. Equius steps closer probably to do some more damage to Mystery Girl and you almost trip over your own feet getting in between them.

“Equius what the hell are you doing???”

He looks surprised to see you there, and maybe even a little ashamed. Equius is a pretty cool guy, even if you wouldn't call him a friend. You helped him out with a girl problem he had last year and in return he tutored you in physics(the dude is a genius when it comes to building robots). 

“Egbert, I hold a great amount of respect for you but this is between me and Mrs. Serket so I must ask you to please leave us alone”

Like hell you were going to let Equius beat her up. She was bleeding and she needed help. You step in front of the girl and look Equius in the eye(which is pretty hard cause he's like a foot taller than you).

“Equius come on man she's bleeding, whatever she did im sure it doesn't justify beating her up”

“Egbert step aside please. I assure you my goal is not to cause any permanent harm” His hands keep clenching and unclenching into fists which makes you think that he's just as nervous as you are. 

“Equius let her go. You owe me remember, I set you up with Nepeta”

“Mrs. Serket,” He pronounces her name with a venom that you've never heard him use before “pushed Nepeta down a flight of stairs and gave her a concussion. She's at the hospital right now to make sure there isn't any permanent damage”

“Oh... wow” You look behind you at the girl whos still lying down bleeding. She doesn't look dangerous. “umm maybe it was just an accident?”

He's shaking his head even before you finish. “After pushing Nepeta down the stairs Mrs. Serket laughed and yelled “Fall stupid cat bitch fall!” I assure you it was no accident.” 

Wow. You can't believe anyone would want to hurt Nepeta. Nep is one of the nicest people you've ever met and she always has a kind word for everybody. Maybe.. just maybe Equius is right and the girl deserves this. 

No. However mean she might be, right now she is hurt and your Dad would tell you to not judge her until she gave her side of the story. You look back at Equius.

“Equius, hurting her won't help Nepeta and Nepeta wouldn't want you to do this.”

He wants to argue you can see that. His nails dig into his hands and looks between you and the girl behind you. After a long pause he unclenches his fists. 

“Thank you Egbert, you're right as usual. As much as it pains me to let someone as despicable as her go unpunished I should be at Nepeta's side. If you'll excuse me i'll leave you with Mrs. Serket then”

As soon as he leaves you dive yourself next to her side. It doesn't look like Equius caused any serious damage but she still looks dazed. You move her hair from her face to check for bruises and graze her cheek with your fingers accidentally. At this she flinches and grabs your hand digging her nails into your wrist.

“Why, why did you help me?” Her voice is a low hiss. She's trying to sound angry and you have a feeling normally that voice would be as scary as Dave's Bro with a machete but right now her voice just sounds weak and delirious with pain. 

Her hair smells nice... kind of like coconuts or the beach. Its totally the wrong time to be thinking of that but you can't help it, especially since she's holding you and you're faces are staring each other down, lips close enough to … WOAH! BACK OFF you're not even sure if you like this chick, especiallly after what she did to Nep. You need to stop thinking about her hair like NOW. 

Wait. What did she ask you??? Oh right she asked you why you helped her! Wait thats a dumb question why wouldn't you help her??? She was getting her face bashed in by a football player for christs sake! Anyway what should you answer, she's still glaring at you through all the blood on her face, her nails are still digging into your wrists, she probably thinks youre an idiot because you've been just silent here for how long? Probably just a couple seconds but it feels more like an hour. 

You're not the best person at answering questions, especially questions like this where you're not really sure what the right answer is. Sometimes when you don't know what to say you pretend you're Dave cause he's pretty smooth when it comes to talking(or even just life in general). Dave would probably go all knight on this chick, kissing her hand, and offering to take her back to his castle. He would show her his shitty sword collection or his sick beats and she would swoon all over him and beg to be lifted onto his shoulders. Come to think of it, Dave could pretty much get any chick he wanted at school but he hasn't really payed much attention to anyone. Kind of makes you wonder if he already has his eye on someone. Then again maybe he's just too busy with his swordfighting and his dj job that he does on the side. Still you're getting WAY OFF TOPIC. If you were Dave you would be going off on a HUGEASS METAPHORICAL SPIEL right now. But you're not so you should probably answer the person who asked you a question and is STILL BLEEDING.

“I just... didnt really want to see you... I mean I didn't think it was right... I u-umm” Geez spit it out! Your brain is running like a million miles per hour thinking of what to say and your tounge fills like a giant piece of wood. “I just wanted to help you okay! Anybody would have done it, you were getting hurt pretty bad, I mean not pretty bad really bad and you're still bleeding so someone should probably look at that, and I don't know if you really did that to Nep, which would be kinda mean if you did, especially since Nepeta is really nice, but even if you did you still dont deserve to get your face bashed in and you should probably get some help so why don't you let go of my hand and I'll take you to like a hospital or to get some help or something” Your tongue runs a million miles per hour and you suddenly have an urge to either pull back or lean forward and... focus!!

“not.. not a hospital” Her nails retract from your wrist but she still holds your hand away from her face.

“okay not a hospital! Got it, crystal clear, A okay, I won't take you to a hospital, but what do you want me to do? No way am I leaving you here alone, do you want me to take you home?”

“No!! No no no no no” Her eyes flash open and she flinches backwards. “Just... leave me. I, I, I can't go home, I can't! I CANT GO HOME” She sounds hysterical.

“Its okay, its okay I wont take you home if you dont want to but hey listen i'll help you, listen i'll take you to my friends house, he's cool and you can rest there. I'm not leaving you here thats crazy!! You need help..”

She cuts you off “I, dont need help!! From you, from anybody. Im strong, I don't want, I don't need, I don't need anybody's help, i'm strong” Her voice is weak and it sounds like she's trying to convince herself more than anything. She coughs up a blob of blood on your shirt and that decides it. You are not wasting a single more moment here! You are helping this girl whether she likes you or not. I mean whether she likes IT or not, thats totally what you meant to say, not the other thing you said. 

You inch your hand out of her loosened grip which is pretty easy because her eyes have started to close and you're pretty sure she might be about to pass out. Your backpack gets tossed on the floor(theres nothing in there you can't replace anyway) and you lean forward to pick her up. Your right hand goes under her neck moving aside blood stained clumps of hair and your left hand picks her up under her thighs. She tries to hiss at you(either a hiss or a growl you're not sure) but she can't even open her eyes anymore.

You can't go home. Your dad, while insanely cool and only like THE BEST DAD EVER, would want to take her to a hospital and you promised her you wouldn't. Besides Dave's apartment is closer only like a block away so Dave's apartment is where you're going. 

 

His apartment is on the top floor(naturally) so you're really glad that theres an elevator cause no way you're climbing 10 stairs with an unconscious girl in your arms. You're also really glad there's noone in sight cause you really don't need to explain this to some cranky old couple or something. 

Once you get to the top floor you go to his apartment. Even if you didn't come up here basically every day to hang out with your best friend you would still know which door it was easily. Its the door with two blades sticking out from the wood. It also used to be the door with a dead crow nailed to the top until Jade stole the crow and gave it a proper burial. You can't knock because unfortunately your hands are CURRENTLY OCCUPIED with a DAMSEL IN DISTRESS(not that you would ever picture her as a damsel, you would picture her more as a badass undercover CIA agent like Angelina Jolie in that one movie Salt) so you kick the door as hard as you can. 

The doorknob turns turns and you see Dave open the door with one hand while eating ramen noodles with the other.

“Hey John whats...Oh shit dude what happened??”

“Help now, explain later!”

“Bro get over here, I need your skills”

The next hour passes in a blur. You remember glimpses of it, Dave's Bro coming into the room and helping to clean the wound, you telling your dad you're going to be sleeping over at Dave's, Bro stealing the ramen noodles from Dave to feed them to the girl, searching the apartment for towels and having a pile of smuppets fall on you. But eventually Bro(one day you swear you are going to find out his real name) steps away and you wait for the news. 

“She's gonna be okay. The poor girls exhausted so she'll probably be asleep for a couple more hours but other than that she's fine. You can go home if you want, I'll explain what happened to her when she wakes up”

You don't want to leave her. Sometime between the time you met her in the cafeteria and now you must have decided that you're going to take care of her which is kind of stupid because she told you multiple times that she doesn't need or want your help but you just can't stop replaying what you saw behind the building and thinking that maybe, if you take care of her you can make sure that never happens again. 

“Actually, is it okay if I sleep over? She doesn't really know who you guys are so...” This makes you realize that she doesn't even know who YOU are. Does she remember you as the annoying guy she clocked in the cafeteria or the one who saved her from Equius? She was delirious that she might not even recognize you at all. Come to think of it, you don't really know her either. You know her last name, Serket, because Equius said it. But that's it. You don't know where she lives, how old she is, what kind of person she can be, whether or not she likes Nicolas Cage(that one's really important). Maybe you should go and leave her out of your life. She's safe now and from what you know about her she can be really really violent. 

She starts to mumble incoherently. It must be a nightmare because she's shaking her head back and forth, breathing faster and faster, shivering despite the blankets Dave put on her. What could her nightmare be? You want to help her, she seems so frightened. 

You grab her hand to calm her down. Her palm feels wet and clammy. 

“Shoosh its okay, its just a dream”

Slowly her breathing slows, her whisperings stop. You try to pull your hand back but she draws it closer to her body like a stuffed animal. 

“Dude John, she stole your hand. You're gonna have to sleep with her now” You look over and Dave gives you a cool kid smirk, the kind where you're not sure if he's joking or being totally serious.

“Haha very funny Dave, i'm sure she'll let go soon”

She doesn't let go, and after a while Dave and Bro leave you there to go to their rooms, but you're okay with it. I mean sure it would be like the most uncomfortable position to be in even if you weren't trying to sleep but its worth it. You're on your knees next to the couch with one hand held hostage and your legs and feet fell asleep like 20 minutes ago but she just looks so peaceful. So perfect, like a flower. You watch her breath for hours(in a totally non-creeper way of course) and every so often a stray lock of her hair falls over her face so you use your free hand to move it back up. You memorize every curve and streak of her face, and long past midnight when everyone but you is fast asleep you fall for her.

You fall for this girl who won't even tell you her name, the girl who left a nice red bruise on your cheek, the girl who yesterday was just another person in a school of hundreds. You fall for the girl who judo flipped Dave, and hurt Nepeta, and managed to make an enemy out of Equius. You fall for the girl who ignored you, who sits alone, and doesn't want or need any help from anybody. 

You shouldn't fall for her. This isn't how it works. You're supposed to see a girl from across the room and share a look. You're supposed to help her carry her books because thats what a gentleman does, you're supposed to be perfect for each other because she pulls the best pranks, and knows just how to make you laugh, and loves Nicolas Cage too. You're supposed to invite her over to watch a movie and wait until the end when the two actors kiss and then whisper her name and kiss her when she turns around. 

You're supposed to have a reason for feeling this giddy about someone, you're supposed to know them well enough to realize that you two are just a beautiful mess waiting to happen. You're supposed to actually know who she is. You're not supposed to realize that every thing you know about her tells you that she's a bad person. You're not supposed to believe that this girl will only end up breaking your heart. 

You fall for the girl who's sleeping in front of you, holding on to your hand like its the only thing that saves her from falling into nightmares. 

You fall in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i'll admit I totally swiped that quote: "You fall in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once" from the book "Fault in our Stars" by John Green. Its just a beautiful quote and a beautiful book and if you haven't read it then you need to read it like yesterday.  
> Anyway thanks for all the kudos and comments,  
> Love y'all <3


	5. A Breath Away From A Kiss

You are Vriska Serket and oh god is waking up supposed to hurt this bad? Everything hurts, your head, your chest, geez since when is the sun that bright? This couch is the most uncomfortable piece of shit you've ever slept... wait where are you???

This isn't your house, where the hell are you?

What happened last night? You remember fighting Equius and then getting your head slammed up against the wall. Oh so thats why your head hurts so bad, but you really can't remember what happened next. 

You should get up and see where you are but its so easy to just lie here and relax. Maybe try and fall asleep for a bit, get rid of the ringing and the voices in your ears. 

Wait voices?

Oh thats right there's a person talking in the background, wait no, its two people talking. 

Wait are they saying? Slowly the voices come into focus as your ears decide to stop buzzing and actually work like ears are supposed to.

"No way!! Leonardo DeCaprio is like twenty million times better than Johnny Depp"

"Hey John dude what are you smoking? If they were chocolates then Johnny Depp would be like Swiss Toblerone and Dicaprio would be crappy Hersheys"

"One word Dave: Inception" 

"Six words John: Barber who bakes people into pies"

"Great Gatsby old sport. Little Johnny ain't got nothing on that"

"Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?"

"Tell you what, how about we play Mario Kart and winner has to accept that the other person is right?"

"Deal! You're going down Egbert!"

"Down to the finish line maybe"

"Youre going to be tasting my mushroom dust this race"

"We'll see about that"

A third voice joins them but this voice is female

"I understand that verbally attacking an enemy with derogatory insults before a contest of physical strength or skill is customary in most cultures but if you're going to trash talk each other can you at least think of more worthwhile insults?"

"Oh come on Rose, im not wasting my sick burns on John, thats like using a rocket launcher to kill a mosquito"

"Talk crap all you want but I just passed your Yoshi ass"

"Sis you're distracting me! Now I'm going to have to peg him with a shell or something"

So you're in a strange room with three people. Their names are Dave, Rose, and John. Wait, John sounds familiar, he's the kid who...

It all comes rushing back to you. The derpy kid with glasses who wouldn't stop bothering you at the lunch table. But not just that. He also saw Equius beating you up. He, oh my god, he stepped in front of you to protect you. God what was he thinking? Equius is like twice as big as him. 

And then what happened? He picked you up you think, and probably carried you here, which doesn't explain the other two voices.

Well you were going to have to get up sometime, might as well be now. Maybe you can find out why this kid is obsessed with you. Every muscle aches as you get up but you manage to stand on your third or fourth try. 

You're in what is probably the messiest living room you've ever seen, and thats saying a lot since your room is full of broken magic eight balls and random crap. There's what looks like smuppets, shitty swords, and empty boxes of takeout littering the floor. In one corner of the room there's a fort made from pizza boxes, in the other theres what looks like a pink flamingo? Yea thats definitely a pink flamingo, why the hell would anyone put a flamingo inside their house? You're too busy looking at it to notice the person coming up behind you.

"Yea Dave's bro thought it'd be ironic to get a pink flamingo" You spin around and would have whacked John in the face a second time if he hadn't caught your hand and steadied you. 

"Woah can you at least wait till the last bruise you gave me heals before you go making another one?" he says with a smirk and a voice as happy and carefree as the breeze. 

Oh god you did that didn't you? His eye is a colorful swirl of black and blue. Normally you would be proud of giving somebody a black eye like that, but... well John's different. He stood up for you yesterday. He's the first person to try and protect you since... well since Tess. 

A maelstrom of conflicting feelings swirl around you tearing you apart and before your body realizes it your hand is making circles around his eye. You haven't had to touch someone this gently in a long time. These past few years its been only punches. Keeping your eyes open to see the pain of those who would hurt you. Making sure they never got the chance to.

"Oh g-god, I did that to you?"

"Pshh it barely even hurts anymore" he says biting his lip and looking to the left. He's a terrible liar. 

You look down as your face flushes with shame. Old Terezi couldn’t lie either. She would always burst into giggles whenever she tried to. One time they had played poker in the living room, before all the fighting, and she lost every single piece of candy that they were using instead of money. And it wouldn't be just a couple of giggles either, when Tess tried to lie she would LAUGH. She would fall on the floor clutching her chest trying to breathe. New Terezi had a pokerface of steel. Her mom had taught Tess how to lie. Tess never laughed anymore, and when she did it was just a cackle. A dry rasp of a laugh. 

Your finger keeps drawing circles around his eye, and without thinking you slowly start to lean forward. If you had been thinking you would have realized that you and him are opposites. John is so naiive, so perfect, and you are nothing but a [broken ghost of a girl](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoI2-CzaSAk). You would have remembered a kiss by a different person, a man who promised heaven and gave you hell. 

You two are close now, close enough that you can feel his warmth on your face but you're not actually touching. His eyes are blue like the sea, the most beautiful color in the whole wide world. You can see his blue eyes grow wide with surprise, but not fear. John isn't scared of you. He should be scared of you, but he isn't. Fuck the world. You close your eyes and tilt your face so your noses wont crash together. You hold your breath and lean forward until...

"Hey John how long does it take to find a friekin carton of apple juice?" 

God damn it.


	6. Why did you leave?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got kind of dark towards the end so sorry in advance, I promise I thought it was going to be a little happier :)

Juice...

Apple Juice?

Dave kitchen bottle something about Howie Mandel, wait what? She wanted apple juice? No Dave wanted apple juice, she wanted...

She's in front of you, was she going to...? No way why would a girl that beautiful want to...

Dave, Dave asked you to do something... What was it?

He asked you to...he asked you to kiss the girl. Wait no thats not right! Apple juice, he asked you for apple juice. God she's gorgeous. Apple juice is in the kitchen. Yea no way was she going to kiss you, just one too many movies you've been watching lately. Sam kissing Charlie in ["Perks of Being a Wallflower."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgVPTU-KYyM) Emma Watson is gorgeous too, like her.. Geez get up already, she's still looking at you, come on dude move your ass, you have to get to the kitchen. At least talk can you talk, you know that thing you've been doing since you were two? Yea that's right open your mouth, geez your lips are dry, now say something don't just stand there with your mouth open like an idiot. She smells kind of nice, like a beach or the smell of the sea on Grandpa Harleys boat. It's probably just her perfume, or her hair, or her lips. Okay seriously stop thinking nonsense and USE YOUR TONGUE!!!

"U-umm h-hey again" Oh god did you seriously just say that, you did NOT just say that. Geez Dave would kill you if he knew, he would call on the gods of irony to smite you with lightning or something. God I can't believe you just fucking said that oh wait she's replying...

"Hey John" Is she blushing? Oh my god she's totally blushing.

You're both quiet for what seems like eternity

"I should umm, I should probably get the umm apple juice"

You turn around and start to walk not run towards the kitchen when you hear her reply.

"Vriska Serket"

"What?"

"My name, you asked what my name was"

She remembered. Its probably just because you were bothering her and being really annoying but it makes you smile regardless. And just like that you can talk again.

"Vriska... Nice to meet you!"

_Vriska Pov_

Geez he doesn't have to look so happy, all you did was tell him your name! I mean you're not complaining because well his buckteeth are kind of cute when he's beaming but nobody else you know would get so excited just because of a name. Honestly you can't help but smile too when you see him like this, his happiness is just so infectious. 

You both look at each other for a couple more seconds and then suddenly burst into laughter. He's laughing cause he's... well he's John and you're laughing cause this is the best you've felt in a while and his dorky grin is just adorable. 

He jumps up suddenly and grabs your hand making you almost jump out of your skin. 

"Come on! I'm going to introduce you to my friends."

And thats how you meet Dave and Rose. Dave doesn't trust you, that much you could tell from the looks he would give you when John wasn't looking but its okay because you don't trust him either. It never pays to trust people, you learned that pretty early. Trusting people usually ends up with that person hurting you. You trust exactly one person in this world, though there is one other person that you kind of want to maybe think that you could possibly come to trust. And that other person is currently talking to you,

"Earth to Vriska, anybody home?"

"Oh sorry I was just...thinking"

"Haha its okay I was just asking to see what movie you wanted to watch?"

"What movies do you have?"

"Well Dave has a whole bunch of movies but trust me you don't want to see any of them"

"Hey no way john my movies are the shit!"

"And then you have the movies I brought over which are awesome"

"I would take Johns words with a grain of hypothetical salt Vriska. John has an unhealthy fascination with Nicolas Cage, old movies, and sappy romantic comedies that stems from his childhood and the influence of his cousin Jake. Granted Dave's taste in movies isn't much better"

"Wait! You like Nicolas Cage?"

He smiles even wider which didn't seem really possible before but it is. "I looove him"

Once John heard that you also like Nicolas Cage no amount of sarcasm or wit from Dave could dissuade him from putting in "City of Angels"

All four of you claim a spot on the couch. The couch isn't really big enough for four people at a time so you end up squished between John and the end but you're not complaining.

Both of you talk in low whispers while the opening credits roll through.

"What's your favorite Nicolas Cage movie?" He says to you.

"Face off. Its the first one I ever saw with him so it'll always be my favorite."

"I loved face off! My favorite all time Nicolas Cage is Con Air but Rose warned me that next time I make her watch it she's going to stuff dead fish guts in my bed"

"Oh thats... nice"

"Yea I wish I could say she was kidding but knowing Rose she really wasn't so im steering clear of that movie for now"

You laugh a little surprising even yourself. John's not even watching the movie anymore. He has those huge blue eyes on you and you melt a little.

"Shush the movie's starting" You tell him and lean your head against his shoulder. 

_Several Hours Later_

ghostyTrickster starts pestering gardenGnostic  
GT: Hey!!  
GT: How was school???  
GG: Fuck you!  
GT: Hey!!  
GG: Fuck  
GG: You!  
GT: Its not our fault you had a test and couldn't skip  
GT: What kind of teacher gives a test on the second day of school??  
GG: I DONT KNOW!!  
GG: Somehow I ended up with like the worst teachers this year:(  
GT: aww its okay Jade, do you want me to help you get back at him?  
GT: I have a couple new pranks I've been meaning to try out  
GG: Haha remember that one prank you pulled on Mr. Harvey last year?  
GT: Oh the one with the slime?   
GT: That one's a classic :)  
GT: His face though...  
GG: He wanted to KILL you!!  
GG: I think I'll pass on the offer for now  
GG: Its a little early in the year to make the teachers start hating me and my good-for-nothing brother   
GT: Good-for-nothing??  
GT: Come on sis I have to be good at something!!  
GG: Good at annoying me mb :)  
GT: :(  
GG: Jk I love you  
GG: How was staying home anyway?  
GT: Oh it was great!!  
GG: Oh wait let me guess!!  
GG: You watched a movie, a Nicolas Cage movie, Not Con Air,  
GG: Was it Gone in Sixty Seconds?  
GG: You haven't seen that one in a while   
GT: What makes you so sure we watched a Cage movie?  
GT: We could have watched one of Dave's movies or even not watched a movie at all. Did you ever think of that?  
GG: John  
GG: Come on..  
GG: You're John Egbert, the question isn't whether you watched a Cage movie but whether you watched only one cage movie  
GT: It was City of Angels actually  
GT: :P  
GT: And I just stuck my tongue out at you  
GT: Oh but that reminds me!!  
GT: I actually wanted your advice on something  
GG: hmm?  
GT: So after Vriska woke up(oh she told me her name so I don't have to call her mystery girl anymore) there was kind of a moment  
GG: A moment?  
GT: Well for a couple of seconds I kind of thought that maybe she wanted to...like she wanted to kiss me and it kind of looked like things were heading in that general direction but Dave interrupted like the pretentious pig he is before well before anything happened  
GG: So whats the problem? You almost got kissed by a girl(a cute girl from what Rose tells me). If she was going to kiss you before you got interrupted then you can probably just try again next time you see her.  
GT: No, its not that. Well first off I really dont know why she would like me. I mean i'm not anyone special or cool like Dave so if she does like me is it just because I saved her from Equius? And should I be okay with that?   
GT: And then this is the girl who gave Nepeta a concussion but she really doesn't act like it. She acts like a really nice girl but to get Equius mad... I've never seen Equius hate anybody as much as he hated her. What if this girl is actually really mean and I just can't see it because I might maybe like her a little?  
GG: According to Dave you like Vriska a lot more than "a little"  
GG: Look its not that complicated. I didn't see "the moment" so I can't really say whether she likes you or not but if you like her then you should ask her on a date  
GG: Nothing too formal, that way there's less stress on both of you  
GG: And if the whole Nepeta thing is really bothering you then you should talk to Vriska about it  
GT: Yea that actually makes sense  
GT: Thanks Jade!!  
GG: No problem John :)  
GT: Okay im going to bed  
GT: See you tommorow in school?  
GG: I'd better or else im hunting your ass down  
GT: Hehe night Jade  
GG: Night John  
ghostyTrickster ceased pestering gardenGnostic

arachnidsGrip begins pestering gallowsCalibrator  
AG: Heeeeeeeey Tess  
GC: H3Y S1S YOU SOUND H4PPY TOD4Y  
AG: Thats 8ecause I aaaaaaaam happy   
AG: ::::)  
AG: Theres a guy...  
AG: I m8y or m8y not kind of like  
GC: R34LLY?? HOW POS1T1V3LY D3L1COUS!!!  
GC: WH4TS H3 L1K3?  
AG: His n8me is John, he's really dorky and cute, and he's not scared of me and he's always really happy  
AG: He loves Nicolas C8ge, and tells the corniest jokes that still somehow m8ke me laugh,   
AG: He loves to pull pr8nks, he's really nice to me, and I think he likes me too  
AG: He would look at me sometimes during the movie we were watching and when I would look 8ack he would 8lush and turn away   
GC: OH MY GOD I CAN PRACTICALLY SMELL THE WEDDING CAKE ALREADY  
GC: IT SMELLS DELICIOUS BY THE WAY AND YES OF COURSE I WILL GIVE A TOAST  
GC: VRISKA SERKET IS IN LOOOOOOOOVE   
GC: I EVEN TYPED OUT 8 O'S TO SHOW HOW MUCH IN LOOOOOOOOVE YOU ARE  
AG: Shut up!!!!!!!!  
AG: I only met him yesterday  
AG: And besides  
AG: ...  
AG: We um we both know how my last boyfriend turned out   
GC: VRISKA THAT WASN'T YOUR FAULT!!!  
GC: COMPLETELY SERIOUS, NO TYPING QUIRK OR ANYTHING, THAT WAS ALL DUALSCAR'S FAULT!!  
GC: HE USED YOU AND THEN TOSSED YOU OUT LIKE TRASH   
AG: You keep saying that and I keep telling you its not true  
GC: HE HASN'T BEEN BOTHERING YOU RIGHT? NOT SINCE?  
GC: BECAUSE IF HE DOES THEN IM GOING UP THERE AND IM GOING TO RIP OFF HIS BALLSACK AND STUFF IT DOWN HIS THROAT!!!  
AG: no he's been staying away  
AG: and I don't really want to talk about him right now  
GC: SORRY  
GC: SO WH4T 4R3 YOU GO1NG TO DO 4BOUT JOHN?  
GC: 4R3 YOU GO1NG TO 4SK H1M OUT?  
AG: Maybe...  
AG: I'll start with sitting at his lunch t8le tomorrow  
GC: HOW D1D YOU M33T JOHN 4NYW4Y?  
AG: ...  
AG: I uumm...  
AG: I might have m8y8e umm...  
AG: clocked him in the f8ce 8ecause he was being annoying and asking me questions while I was trying to read  
GC: VR1SK4!!  
AG: I know! I feel terri8le!   
AG: That was 8efore I knew his name or he knew mine and I wasn't in the best mood, but I apologized when I was over at his house earlier and I feel terri8le and he said that it was ok8y  
GC: OH W3LL TH4TS B3TT3R... 1 GU3SS  
GC: HOW D1D YOU 3ND UP 4T H1S PL4C3 4FT3R CLOCK1NG H1M 1N TH3 F4C3?  
AG: I talked to him on the bus home  
GC: VR1SK4 YOUR3 NOT 4LLOW3D TO T4K3 TH3 BUS HOM3  
GC: NOT S1NC3 YOU THR3W 4 FR3SHM4N OUT TH3 3M3RG3NCY W1NDOW  
GC: WH4T R34LLY H4PP3N3D?  
AG: fiiiiiiiine  
AG: I was fighting this one dude and he 8ailed me out  
GC: Vriska you promised me no more fights?  
GC: Remember?  
AG: It was self defense!!!!!!!!  
AG: I swear, the dude was trying to rob me or something  
GC: You used to not lie to me Vris  
GC: ever  
AG: Yea well you know what?  
AG: You used to be around!  
AG: Am i supposed to listen to you just because you decide to drop your stupid quirk?  
GC: Vris  
AG: Like oh my god Tess dropped her quirk guess I should just be serious now and spill everything thats happening to me  
AG: Whats the point in having a sister I never see?  
AG: No but seriously its okay don't worry about me, go become a bigshot proscecutor and make out with your perfect fucking boyfriend, and buy a fucking house far away from here in San Francisco like you always wanted to  
GC: Vriska im sorry  
AG: Oh look im not even replacing my b's with 8's anymore   
AG: Does this mean im growing up now?  
GC: im sorry  
AG: No but wait!! You said when I was grown up I would understand why you didn't, why you don't take me away from the shit excuse for a dad that I have. I must not be grown up yet because I still don't fucking understand why you don't put that motherfucker behind bars. Im still a fucking child apparently  
AG: I guess I should go 8ack to talking liiiiiiiike thiiiiiiiis  
AG: Hey lets roleplay like we used to. I can be the pirate Marquise Spinneret and you can be my first mate Neophyte Redglare!!  
GC: im so fucking sorry   
AG: We can go to the beach and conquer the seas with our awesomeness and our beauty  
AG: Oh wait...  
AG: You don't live here anymore,   
AG: No you're going to coooooooollege  
AG: At least when you lived with our "mother" we could still sneak away and see each other  
AG: At least when you lived with her there was no other option  
GC: Vriska  
AG: No! If you want to come back and take me away from him then you can be my dear mother and tie my shoes and make me breakfast every morning and tell me not to get into fights and to be a good little girl.   
AG: Otherwise just fuck off!  
arachnidsGrip ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator  
GC: Vriska I’m so sorry  
GC: shit

 

"I HATE YOU"

You would probably sound more convincing if you weren't crying your eyes out.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU"

Or if you weren't curled up in bed with your head in your pillows.

"I hate you so much"

Under your bed is your knife, your escape if you want it. Tess wouldn't want you to, but there's a lot of things she wouldn't want and its not like she would be here to notice the scars anyway.

"I hate myself. I hate my fucked up life, I hate...  
I hate everything"

Your nails dig into your palms until you can feel your skin open and little droplets of blood ooze out. That's the thing about pain. It drives away the emptiness. It makes the sadness bearable. That's why you fight even though you promised Tess you wouldn't. That's why you used to cut. That's why you dislocated your wrist, the night that Tess left. You couldn't take it anymore and you wanted the pain. You wanted you hand to break against the wall. 

["I’m broken"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7qW44jrkkY)

There's something even worse than the tears. The tears, the stuffy nose that makes it hard to breathe, the waves of sadness that drag you out into the sea only to slam you back into the rocks and all you can do is try to hang on, try to not lose yourself. The memories that you wish you could lose, the few happy memories that remind you of just how shitty the rest of your life is. There's something worse than all that.

Its even worse than the anger. It's worse than the screams you shout at noone in particular till your voice is cracked and hoarse, worse than the whispers you say to yourself when you want to die. Worse than the sight of blood running down your wrist and a fist flying at your face.

Because as bad as the sadness and the anger get, they still help. In the most backward fucked up way possible they help you.

But once you're all tapped out, once you stop crying even though you aren't any better, and once you get so tired of being mad at everything and everyone, then there's only the emptiness. And the emptiness is the worst feeling in the world.

"Why'd you leave?" You whisper before finally falling into a mess of all too real nightmares.

_You wake up to the sound of the garage door opening. He's home, probably wasted. You lock the door to your room and move your dresser in front of it. With any luck he'll just go to his room and pass out. You haven't been lucky in a while._

_The doorknob rattles violently.  
"OPEN THE DOOR"_

_The dresser starts to shake as he slams into the door oh god he's going to get in. Shit what are you going to do?_

_The window. You can leave through the window. You open it and jump out to the grass below. The impact sends waves of shock through your feet and you collapse onto the grass._

_"Hey babe need a hand?"_

_He looks just like the first time you met him. He's dressed in a suit, his hair dyed purple, a smirk on his face. He's a smug bastard and you love him for it._

_"Here Vriska take my hand, I'll protect you"_

_He holds out his hand for you to grab like he did the first time and like he does in every nightmare you have._

_You hold your hand up but then you hesitate. You put it back down and look at his eyes._

_"What do you want?"_

_"What do I want? To make you stronger of course. I want to make you strong and beautiful and I want you by my side"_

_"I don't need your help and I don't want to be at your side"_

_His stupid goddamn smirk never falters, never wavers as he replies "Vriska babe, you've always needed my help. You will always need my help. But don't worry I will make you stronger. I will make you unbreakable"_

_"Fuck off Orpheus"_

_At this he visibly flusters "Don't call me by that name! You know what to call me"_

_"Dualscar then. I will never take your hand again you piece of shit"_

_"I almost believed you that time. Who knows you might be telling the truth. Either way I don't really need you" He pulls out a pistol from the inside pocket of his suit and points it at you. You are still on the ground looking up at the barrel that is going to take your life._

_"Why did you let me kill her Orpheus? She was innocent"_

_He laughs. An evil laugh, the kind that he did whenever a prisoner died in a particularly gruesome way._

_"Darling I didn't let you kill anybody. You killed her all on your lonesome. And you laughed when you pulled the trigger remember? Just like I’m going to laugh when I shoot you"_

_The last thing you hear is his laugh and a loud bang_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was my inspiration for this fanfic and you guys should like totally read it cause it is one of the best John/Vriska fanfics that I have ever read  
> https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8460087/1/Her-Second-Chance


	7. Tale of Two Vriska's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which there is one time shift, two location shifts, a rather unsavory mob boss, a nostalgic moment of sister cuteness, a random lunch conversation with a hint of sexual tension, another lunch conversation mocking the first lunch conversation also with a hint of sexual tension, and a dare!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im getting this to you guys a day early so enjoy!!!

_December 25 several years ago_

"Waaaaaaaake up Tess!!!!!!!!"

"Ugh leave me alone Vriska"

"Tess come on wake up, don't you know what day it is?"

"Let Tess sleep in day?"

"Of course not dummy!"

"Its CHRISTMAS!!!"

Tess just grumbles and pulls the blankets over her head. You leap like a lion on top of her and are rewarded with a muffled "ouch."

"coooooooome on dummy I got you a present"

"A present that can wait till I wake up?"

"Tess if you don't get up then I'm going to sing as loud as I can and MAKE you wake up" 

"Tess is currently asleep and can't hear what you are saying. Please check back at a more reasonable hour" 

"YO HO YO HO A PIRATES LIFE FOR ME  
WE PILLAGE WE PLUNDER WE SOMETHING WE SOMETHING  
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO  
YO HO YO H OOOOOWWWWWW TESSS"

Tess had swept the covers over your eyes and jumped on you. She was smiling.

"Filthy pirate, you have a date with the gallows"

"You'll have to catch me first"

You wriggle out of her grasp and run out the door. Her footsteps sound on the wood behind you as you jump down the stairs in one leap and dive into your room slamming the door in the process. 

Her foot catches the door before you can lock it closed and she eventually forces the door open. You dive on your bed and grab your fake sword.

"Stand back Tess. I’m a veeeeeeeery dangerous pirate and I have a sword" 

"Your pirating days are over Vriska"

"That's CAPTAIN Vriska to you"

Tess grabs another foam sword from the trunk of random crap in your room and the two of you fight a dangerous and exciting battle. You cut off her left hand and she puts it behind her back, she strikes your left leg and you have to limp for the rest of the battle. She steps back and puts her sword by her side.

"Did you really think you could escape CAPTAIN Vriska?"

"I can and I will"  
"How are you going to escape? I don't see your ship CAPTAIN"

"I'll flyyyyyyyy away Tess, after beating you of course"

"Of course"

She winks at you then chucks her sword like a boomerang. You swing yours wildly to knock it away from your body but she uses your moment of distraction to jump on you and make you both fall on top of your bed. 

"That was cheating Tess!!!!!!!!"

"I won didn't I?" She says giving you her biggest smile

"This time" you say cracking a smirk

"You know what the punishment is for pirates?"

"The gallows?"

"Normally yes but for such a notorious pirate the gallows is far too kind"

You don't realize what she's about to do until it's too late. She moves her nails under your shirt and starts to tickle your side. You bite your lip to contain your laughter and roll as fast as you can away from her. 

"Oh no you don't, you're not getting away THAT easily"

She drags you back over to her, pulls up your shirt and blows a raspberry on your belly button. 

"TESS!!!" You squeal in the middle of your fits of laughter

"Let me go!!"

She ignores you and continues to tickle you to death. Only after your plead for mercy for what seems like forever does she let up. Oh god your ribs hurt from laughing so hard. 

"You're cute Vriska"

"I am NOT cute Tess! I am vicious and evil and bloodthirsty"

"Whatever you say Vriska" 

"You’re the one who's cute" You say shoving her off your bed

"So are you going to show me this present you woke me up at 6 in the morning to tell me about?"

"YES!!!!!!!!" In all the excitement you had completely forgotten about the present you made her. Well actually the two presents you had gotten for her. 

You grab your hand and put it across her eyes. "Close your eyes Tess, I'll tell you when to open them"

First you grab the scalemate that was hidden behind your bookcase. Its a dragon because Tess loves dragons and she loves playing with scalemates even more than you. 

Then you grab the drawing pad that you wrapped up in red wrapping paper and hid in the corner of your closet. She was always drawing on random pieces of paper so you hoped she would like having a drawing pad.

You go back towards your sis and hide the two presents behind your back. 

"Okay Tess you can open your eyes now!"

She opens her eyes and you hand her both your presents. She grabs the scalemate with a squeal of "Oh my god he's so cute" and rubs it on her face. 

"Vriska these gifts are amazing thank you"

She hugs you hard enough to lift you off off the ground and twirls you around till you're dizzy.Then she lets you ride on her shoulders as she goes back into her room to give you your gift. It turns out to be all three Pirates of the Caribbean Movies. Late at night after all the booooooooring relatives leave for their houses and your parents go to bed you sneak into Tess's room and the two of you watch all three in a row. She makes a bowl of popcorn halfway through the first movie but it only last till the beginning of the second because the two of you start chucking popcorn at each other. After the third movie is over the two of you talk and talk and then you ask Tess to tell you a scary story.

You love your sister but she can't tell a scary story to save her life. 

You fall asleep right after the serial killer who happens to be a ghost is captured and put on trial. 

*******  
 _School Cafeteria_

"I’m just saying how do you KNOW vegetables don't have feelings? I mean I don't know about you but if I was a carrot I wouldn't want some random chick named Jade yanking me out of my home especially if I had some smoking hot tomato girlfriend. So really being a vegetarian is just as bad as eating meat"

"Dave don't you know anything?? A vegetables dream in life is to be eaten. That carrot stays up late at night talking with his hot tomato girlfriend about what kind of dish he's going to be cooked in. His girlfriend is all like "Oh don't worry honey I’m sure that you'll make a wonderful carrot soup." Its different with animals, you shoot a deer and the deer is all like "Well fuck I just got shot"

"Well why would they go all running around and standing still if they didn't like getting shot? You know what I think, I think deers are suicidal. So like when one of them just stops in the middle of the streets its not cause of some headlight shit, its cuz the deer is commiting some shitty Japanese Seppuku. And all of its deer friends are like "Yea go Bambi you can do it" So really by eating Bambi im doing him a huge solid."

"How about I do YOU a huge solid with my rifle and then you can ask Bambi's ghost about it?"

"You love me too much Jade to shoot me. Im your knight. Come on John pop in with some shitty movie reference, what is she, like my Tricia?"

"Psshh if anything she's your vampire death dealer Selene and you're her somewhat likeable human who she almost kills but eventually saves and then bites to turn into a vampire lycan hybrid Micheal Corvin"

Vriska leans over next to your shoulder and whispers "Is your table always like this?"

You laugh a little. Dave and Jade have been arguing nonstop, first about who would win in a fight between naked Bruce Wayne and naked Tony Stark(of course you jumped in and said that Bruce would take Stark down but get hit over the head from behind by Pepper), then whether a rifle or a sword would be better for a zombie apocalypse, and now Dave tried to bash Jade's hippy vegetarianism and Jade came out swinging(metaphorically of course, no punches have been thrown...yet).

"Yea pretty much" You whisper back. Vriska had come and sat in the empty seat next to you uninvited which was pretty much the highlight of your day and you two had been making fun of Dave and Jade in whispers all through lunch. "Usually by now Rose would have psychoanalyzed one of them and told them about how their dysfunctional relationship means they're going to end up either having sex or turning into a pair of serial killers but she's sitting with her girlfriend today"

"Rose has a girlfriend?" 

"Yea she dated a couple of douchey guys last year but after one of them made fun of her Harry Potter fanfics she basically said no more guys. And then she met Kanaya and they're perfect together. Kanaya makes a lot of the dresses that Rose wears and vice versa. They met at comic-con. Kanaya was dressed as Harry Potter and Rose was dressed as Luna Lovegood."

"Wow John your friends are weeeeeeeeird"

You look over at her and smile. "Yea but that's what I love about them"

It's really easy to talk to her. She's really smart and funny and you can talk to her without worrying about trying to be interesting or witty. You can make her laugh without trying to and when she does laugh its its the most beautiful sound in the world. But there's questions you don't ask her. She doesn't like to talk about herself. Even harmless questions like asking what shows she watched as a child, bring a sad light into her eyes. You don't ask about Nepeta or about the cuts and bruises you notice even though she tries to hide them. You're afraid to hear her answer.

"What time is it?" Dave asks and you take out your phone to check. 

"1:12" You say right as Jade says "13:12." She likes to keep her phone in military time for some reason. 

You move to put your phone back in your pocket but before you can do it Vriska steals it from your hand and moves away from you. 

"Hey give me my phone back!"

"Whats the matter John, you have nudes there you don't want your _girlfriend_ to see?" Dave says ignoring the cry of "She's not my girlfriend!!!" from you and the death glare from Vriska. He holds out his hand to Vriska. "Hey Vriska pass me his phone I want to spam his cameraroll"

She passes your phone to him and you spend almost ten minutes trying to get it back from first Dave then Jade then Vriska again. Eventually you intercept it when she tries to give it again to Dave and you check the cameraroll. Oh god there's almost 400 new photos. Those are going to be a pain in the ass to delete later. 

Eventually the bell rings and the cafeteria explodes into a mass of backpacks and students. Dave and Jade have the same 5th period so they walk together and Vriska it turns out has a class in the hallway right next to yours so you get to talk to her for a bit. 

You're talking about movies or something, nothing in particular really, when she asks "So how long has Dave liked Jade?"

You make a pshh sound with your lips thats supposed to sound knowing and dismissive but probably just sounds really lame "Dave doesn't like Jade! No way, they're just best friends!!!"

"Dave tooooooootally likes Jade" She does that sometimes, make a word reaaaaaaaally long and you think it's really cute. 

"nu-uh"

"Yea-huh"

"Nuh-uh"

"Yea-huh"

"Nu-uh" This probably would've gone on a really long time if she hadn't broken the pattern by saying,  
"How about we bet on it? If they end up dating or if Jade shoots him down before the end of this year then I win, otherwise you win"

"Deal! What are we betting?"

"You pick"

"Umm how about 20 bucks?"

"Laaaaaaaame!! How about we bet something that actually matters John?"

"Okay well then you pick!"

She thinks for a couple of seconds and then gives you a mischievous smirk.  
"So whoever wins can tell the other person to do one thing, no questions asked, and that other person has to do it, no maaaaaaaatter what!"

You're not really comfortable with that dare, especially knowing how Vriska is but her eyes are challenging you to quit. They're like mentally saying "come on you wimp I dare you to quit" and no way are you going to get stared down by a couple of cute cerulean eyes.

"Deal!" You hold out your pinky for the manly time-honored traditional pinkie swear but she mocks you until you shake her hand. 

The bet has been made.

As you get closer to building 4 you both go quiet. You can't think of what to say.  
"So what class do you have?"

"Math, its such a booooooore"

You both fall quiet again until its time to seperate. You say bye and open the door leading into your hallway when she turns back and says your name.

"Hey John text me during this class okay? Or else I'll probably just die from boredom."

You try, unsuccesfully, to ignore the little butterflies that flit around in your stomach when she says that. "How, I don't have your number?"

"Yea you do" She says with a mischievous glint in her eyes before she goes into her hallway and leaves you alone. 

You pull out your phone and sure enough in your contact list you find a new contact. You smile at her name,"The coooooooolest chick eva." It just barely fits on your screen because its so long.

You can't stop grinning like a lunatic as you send her a message

_"Hey"_

_"I said in class idiot, not eight seconds later ::::)"_

_"Sorry!!"_

*****

_In the rather dangerous part of the city_

"Sir Dualscar!"

The newest member in your gang runs up to you and nervously bows. He's not as strong as some of your other members but he impressed you with his speed when you first met him. And he's actually genuinely afraid of you which is more than you can say of some of the more "rebellious" members of your posse. You put away the gold plated gun you'd been using for target practice and turn toward him. 

"Not Sir Dualscar, not master Dualscar, just Dualscar! Okay newbie?"

"Yes sir! I mean yes Dualscar, my mistake, won't happen again"

"Okay what news on the mission?"

"We captured a higher up from the Black P. Stones"

A nod of approval, the Black P. Stones aren't the biggest rival gang you're fighting against, but they are extremely well organized and they had messed up your operations more than a couple times. 

"Rough him up a little and then drop him off in their territory as a warning"

He hurries off to tell your message to the rest of the gang.

Your gang as a general rule doesn't kill prisoners. Not that you have anything against it personally but killings attract police and police cause trouble. All the gangs in this area understand that, so the number of actual murders are relatively low. Every once in a while accidents happen, a knife slips, or some idiot decides to pull out his gun against your gang and then you have a body to dump into the river but hey accidents happen. With any luck this new message will keep the Stones off your territory, you didn't spend 5 years building up your following to have a newbie gang waltz up and challenge you. You take the knife from your belt and twirl it between your fingers which you do when you want to appear intimidating or just to pass the time. Its a good quality knife, better than the shit weapons most people around here fight with. High quality steel, serrated double edge, the whole 9 yards, or 8 yards she would have said. To be honest you don't enjoy knives nearly as much as she used to. Knives don't really have any feel to them, you much prefer beating people up with your fists or pulling out your pistol if you really need to. 

Now her on the other hand, she loved knives. She had a whole set of throwing knives and could hit a target from the other side of the street, dead on. It was her trademark interrogation tactic to stand 20 feet away and throw knives at the prisoner every time they refused to answer a question. The handle would knick the prisoners ear or graze the top of their head, never close enough to cause damage, but close enough that the person could feel the gust of the air as the blade buried itself right next to them. Worked wonders, at least until her fame grew and the other gangs realized that she never missed. 

And she loved the interrogation. You don't really enjoy watching another person beg for freedom so you usually leave that to your subordinates but she would get off on their fear. After an interrogation she would get hornier than a drunk college slut. You smile at the memories. 

Yea she was great. Dualscar and Mindfang leading the most powerful gang in this city, driving fear into the heart of ordinary citizens. You miss it. 

Its really a shame she went straight. Damn best girlfriend you've ever had. You've thought about sending a couple of men to hussle her so she would get back together with you but honestly that would probably mean the end of you. One knife and your throat would split open like a ripe orange. 

Oh well. You spot a pair of pigeons scrounging for crumbs on the other side of the street. Damn city is infested with vermin. A twirl of your gun, two gunshots, and the pigeons fall over.

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh I almost forgot!!!!  
> https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8460087/1/Her-Second-Chance  
> This is my inspiration for this fanfic so you should totes read it cause it is AMAZING!!!.


	8. You Smell Like C8ke!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which John walks Vriska home, Vriska pushes John over, John pulls Vriska down, there's a awckward goodbye, ad several rather sentimental stories on Johns part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im actually really proud of myself!!! This week I wrote 5000 words for Flarpstuck, wrote a 6000 word nepeta-going-batshit-crazy one shot, and a 2000 word chapter for this story which im hopefully going to follow with another 3000 word chapter that's almost finished by tomorrow. So yay me for having no life and writing a lot!!!!!

You hate school. You hate the teachers who make it their mission to fix your "attitude" and your "problems". You hate the ones who actually pretend that you could be just like everyone else if you just "tried a little harder dear". You hate the students too. They're all pretentious snobs, well most of them anyway. You hate your locker too. It stubbornly refuses to open. Its one of those locks that unless you turn it perfectly and hit all three numbers exactly then it decides it simply won't open for you. You reset it and try again for the third time. At least you don't have a bus to catch so theres no hurry.

"Hey Vriska!!" His eternally cheerful voice breaks your cycle of self absorbing pessimism that you love to wallow in.

You fix the grin that popped on your face at his voice to a composed face of indifference and give him a nod and a wave before yanking the lock off and opening your locker. Finally!

"So do you go home on the bus?" He leans against the locker next to you and he looks so excited to see you, like he hasn't seen you in about 8 years or something even though you two had spent all of last period texting. 

"Nope, I walk"

"Oh really do you live close to the school?"

"Yea, I'm inside the two mile limit so I can't take the bus" The lie slips off your tongue automatically but you immediately feel guilty. Anyone else you can lie to, but not John.  
"Well actually its not really close, but its okay I like to walk" Still not the whole truth but it was true, you did like to walk, and run, and basically anything that didn't involve sitting. 

"Oh yea I like to walk too, but I still feel bad about you walking home alone. The city can be kind of dangerous. Which direction do you live? Maybe I can walk you home?"

Why is he taking care of you? You don't need someone to hold on to your hand and make sure you're safe. You can take care of yourself, you're fucking Vriska Serket. You slam your locker closed and turn towards him to tell him that No! You don't need his help and you don't want his help! You open your mouth and then you see how nervous he is. He's looking away and biting his lip and oh my god this adorable little idiot isn't trying to take care of you. He really does like you for god knows whatever reason. Probably just doesn't know you well enough to know to stay away.

"Its okay if you don't me to but I just, well I kind of like talking to you and I can't imagine that walking home alone is too exciting so how about we walk home together?" He looks up at you and his crystal blue eyes are filled with hope. His smile is so fragile, like you could crush it with only a word and truth be told you probably could. You swing your backpack over your shoulder and sigh theatrically. 

"I guess walking with you wouldn't be teeeeeeeerible" You say with exaggerated indifference but an involuntary smile at the end gives away your approval.  
****

John talked most of the way home. You were completely okay with that for selfish reasons. As much as John might like you now, if he knew half of the things you've done he would be running in the other direction. You could always lie if he asks you something personal but you really don't want to lie to him. Lying to him feels too much like stabbing a puppy, especially because he would believe you without a second thought. He trusts you, the girl who he met a couple days earlier. He's an idiot, a complete doofus, and way too good for you. So you let him talk about everything and anything under the sky.

He talked about his dad a lot. He talked about waking up on christmas to a giant cake in his room, waking up on halloween to a giant cake in his room, waking up on random sundays with a giant cake in his room. He talked about the time he finally realized his dad wasn't a world famous magician but actually just a regular office worker. He talked about the first time he had to shave and his father left him a note under the shaving cream bottle telling him how proud he was and then he took John to buy a laptop and a new cellphone. He told me about the 7 identical hats that his dad keeps in his room, one for each day of the week. 

Then he talked about Jade his half sister. He talked about going to visit her on the weekends. She lived in the rich part of the city with her grandpa and spent her time farming and going to protests and marches to help save the environment. Apparently she tried to teach John how to farm and gave him a little piece of her garden to grow vegetables but gave up after he killed every single pumpkin plant he tried to plant.

You liked listening to him. Most of the people you talked to boiled down to one of two groups, both equally bad. On one side were the people who wanted something from you, and on the other side were the people who tried to “fix” you. It was nice to just relax and let someone else talk for a bit. He asked you one personal question throughout the whole walk right after he caught you without your usual scowl. What can you say you were distracted and keeping a scowl around John is usually more trouble than its worth. But he caught your smile and he asked you,  
“Hey how come you like the number 8 so much?”

“How do you know I like the number 8?”

He stopped and turned to look at you “Well lets see, when you text you put eight exclamation points at the ends of sentences,

“Lots of people put multiple exclamation points at the end of stuff”

“When you're bored you tap on the leg in patterns of eights”

“It could be just a random number of taps”

“You scratched out the number 2 on all _eight_ of your pencils and replaced them with number 8s”

“Stalker, how do you know that?” You can't help but smile to think that he's been paying that much attention to what you do. 

“I know everything about you Vriska” He winks at you. 

“Yea, you're sounding even more like a stalker by the minute”

He does that face he always does before he makes a really cheesy joke and you brace yourself. 

“Don't you mean... by the eight minutes” 

Oh god he's such a dork!! You dig your shoulder into his and he cries out “Vriska!!” as he falls into a tangled heap of limbs on the grassy side of the sidewalk. 

“Geez John don't you have any sense of balance at aaaaaaaall? Imagine what would have happened if I had shoved you into the street side of the sidewalk? You'd be a pancake by now and then who would walk me home?”

“Hey you were the one who shoved me!!” He cries indignantly with his arms crossed over his chest as he lays on the grass. “So help me back up” He says offering you a hand to pull him back up. 

You take it and pull but he pulls harder and next thing you know you're crashing into the grass next to him.

“What was that for???????? I was helping you back up!!”

He turns his head and looks at you and you really hope nobody's walking by because the two of you probably look like the mushiest lamest couple ever just laying here on the grass side by side.

“I just felt like it” the smug bastard says and you punch him on the arm to let him know what you think of that. 

“Hey look its a UFO!” He says pointing up at the sky. 

“Its just a plane idiot” And he laughs at that.

“Psh no its a UFO with a drawing of a plane on the bottom so that idiot humans like us will think its a plane. That way they can drop off the aliens into our cities without drawing suspicion and then in a couple of years they'll just take over. At least thats what Dave's taught me”

“Does Dave really believe that alien crap?” You ask as you realize that this is really comfortable just lying here on the grass talking. 

“Probably not” He says chuckling. “Or if he does then its just for the sake of being as ironic as possible. Dave does so much crap for the sake of irony its crazy. I should tell you about the time that he mailed a live chicken to chick-fil-a along with a ten page rant complaining about how the chicken burger her ordered came back to life when he tried to bite into it.”

“Hate to be that poor bastard who had to open that package”

“Hehe Yea, I'll tell you what they sent him back but we should probably get out of this grass and keep walking otherwise we're never going to get you home.”

Your thoughts take a turn for the worse,  
“Home... right... We should probably hurry up... I guess” You mumble as John pulls you up. 

You can forget somewhat the thought of going home when he continues telling his story. Long story short, Dave got a coupon for free Chick-Fil-A Burgers for a whole year in exchange for a promise that he wouldn't sue the company but Jade broke into his house(she bribed his brother/father Dirk with a Chinese takeout box and he opened the door) and ripped the card in half while he slept. Then she took a jar with dead frogs that he had by his bedside and somehow stuffed a frog into the gallon of milk that Dave had in his freezer. 

“And that dear Vriska, was the one and only time my sister Jade has ever surpassed me in pranking skills. I am the pranking master after all.” He says this with solemn pride, as if he were discussing the title of supreme dictator of the world instead of the title of “pranking master”

“Im not so sure about that, will I ever get to see one of these so called “master pranks” of yours?”

“Oh trust me Vriska when I do prank you it will be the greatest prank you have ever seen. Your eyes will be blinded by the glory of my pranksters gambit”

The thought is so ridiculous you can't help but laugh.  
“Just try me buckteeth”

“So are you ever going to answer my question?”

“Which question?” You ask.

“Why you like eights so much?”

You shrug theatrically and wink at him “Maybe later buckteeth, I can't spill aaaaaaaall my secrets to just any kinda cute dork who decides to be my personal stalker”

He blushes at that. Yes! Vriska Serket: 1 Dorky Buckteeth: 0.

You both turn onto the street that leads to your house and you start to walk slower. John notices, he asks you if anything I wrong and you just shake your head.  
Your dad's car is missing from the driveway and you let out a sigh of relief that you didn't even realize you were holding in. Probably drunk off his ass right now. Either that or with his girlfriend, a mexican immigrant called Lola. You've thought about telling her that the guy she “loves” has a daughter and an exwife he hasn't told her about but all in all its not worth it. She keeps him busy and that's good enough for you. 

“This is my house” You mutter 

“This one?” Its bigger than the other houses on the block. The lawn is perfectly mowed and the flower bed is perfectly tended, and the french windows are goddamn perfect, and everything about the house is just fucking perf...

“Your house is really pretty” He decides

_“No its not!!”_ You snap at him before immediately biting your lip in regret. A hurt look spreads over his face and you feel guilt wash over at you at making John wear that face. The face of a kicked puppy that you never ever want to see on him again. 

You should apologize to him for snapping like that but for the life of you you don't know what to say. You could tell him the truth but...

He looks back at the house than back at you and he's wearing his dorky grin again. Everything is alright with the world again.

“You're right I dont know what I was thinking. Your house is hideous” He sounds completely sincere and you melt for this dorky kid who knows just what to say to make your heart beat faster and your cheeks heat up in the best kind of nervousness.

What would it be like to kiss him? You lick your lips and pull a stray lock of air behind your ear to distract you from that thought. It doesn't work and you both stand there awkwardly, neither person willing to say goodbye but neither willing to do anything more, say anything more.

“U-umm I guess I'll see you tomorrow then? I sh-shoul pro-probably get going then” He lowers his head and shakes your hand firmly before turns around with a half hearted wave

You watch him walk away before taking a deep breath and,  
“Hey dumbass!!”

He turns around to see you walk toward him with all the Vriska Swagger you can muster. 

“Its 2014, noone shakes hands anymore! What are you an old grandpa?”

He grins and says “My mistake” before walking up to you and hugging you. You tense instinctively before relaxing. He's just tall enough that your head fits perfectly in the crook of his neck. You breathe in the scent of trees, probably his deodorant, but below that there's another scent. A familiar scent that you can't quite place your finger on. 

He pulls away before you can figure out what the mystery scent is. 

“See you tommorow Vriska!!” He turns and walks away as you unlock the door to your house.

You realize what the mystery scent is right as he reaches the corner of your street. 

“HEY JOHN!!!!!!!!” You yell.

“WHAT???”

“YOU SMELL LIKE C8KE!!!!!!!!” You say and slam the door to your house closed with a smirk before he can reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!!  
> Im almost finished with the next chapter so fingers crossed ill upload it tommorow


	9. Shut up you god8amn idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one with the return of a previously mentioned character, a happy reunion of two best friends and two soulmates, a dissapearance of a main character, a rainstorm, a Rose psychoanalysis moment, and an apology. Oh and three scars too!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah I finished this chapter really quickly.  
> Inspiration for this kind of came from the locket scene in HIMYM but not really tho if any of you haven't seen that scene you should look it up cause it is really frickin beautiful

“Oh look Nepeta’s back from the hospital!!!” Jade practically bounces to her feet in the excitement. She had really missed Nepeta. The two of them loved to watch anime’s together and they both volunteered at the pet shelter so they were practically best friends.

You turn and see Nepeta walk in alongside Equius into the cafeteria with a huge smile on her face, laughing at something that Equius said and looking good as new. A baggy green sweater disguises her skinny frame and curly black hair almost covers her bright green eyes. She smiles with her whole face, her lips, eyes, and cheeks all teaming up to make her probably the happiest person in the school.

And that’s never more apparent than when she’s with Equius. She’ll pounce on him before school, knocking over a 270 pound quarterback into the ground as if he weighed nothing. It’s just her way of saying hi. She’ll pass notes to him in class and draw pictures of him in her notebook and locker. She’ll show up to every single one of his football games. Before the game while the coach is giving the players a pep talk she’ll go up and knock Equius into the ground before savagely making out with him as if that was the last kiss she would ever have. The coach yelled at her for interrupting his pep talk the first time she did it but after Equius scored a touchdown in the first ten minutes of the game the pregame Equius-Nepeta makeout became a tradition. She loves Equius with all her heart, and Equius loves her just as fiercely.

The school quarterback is head over heels for the giggly cat girl. You can see it in the way his face lights up when she’s with him, you can see it in the way he follows her around like a puppy, you can see it in the way he he’ll let her ride on his back when he walks her to class. Her cat puns caught on him and now he uses them even when he’s not with her. When he ran the winning touchdown for the state championship there was a national TV crew that wanted to interview the Football prodigy but he wouldn’t say a word until Nepeta pushed her way through the mass of people and joined him. She jumped on his back and traded his football helmet with her cat-ears “Save the Snow Leopard” hat. Only then did he do the interview. She’s teaching him to draw and its hilarious because Equius will try so hard that he breaks his pencil. She’ll simply giggle take the broken pieces of his pencil and replace them with another pencil from her backpack. And repeat.

You watch as Jade crashes into Nepeta with a flying ninja hug. “Nep I missed mew so much!!!”

And then you remember why Nepeta was in the hospital.

You turn, and the seat next to you is empty. “Where’s Vriska???” You ask Dave. He shrugs and tells you she left through the door on the other side of the cafeteria. He asks you if anything is wrong and you shake your head while you throw away your food and stand up. Dave doesn't know that Vriska is the reason Nepeta went to the hospital. You never told him and he never asked why she got beat up. The only people who know are you, Equius, and Nepeta.

 

You walk towards the other cafeteria door. Vriska can't have that much of a headstart on you, all you need to do is catch up to her and talk to her. You slam the doors open and see a blue backpack turn down a hallway to the right. You start running, almost crashing into a couple of freshman, and turn down the hallway to see the doors leading outside the school slam closed. Your breathing is erratic from the strain of running and man you're out of shape. You ninja kick the door open like Jason Statham from that one movie The Transporters you were watching yesterday and topple out into the drenching rain. 

The freezing cold takes your breath away. You forget why you went outside and just lean against the door as droplets of rain crash against your clothes and your body. Your glasses are a sopping wet mess and everything looks like a big blur of rain and shapes. The pitter patter of droplets against the concrete is deafening and the wind howls in your ears. It takes a couple of seconds for the shock of the freezing rain to pass and by then you're completely soaked through and through. You remember why you went outside and squint to try to find the shape of a girl through the blur of colors.

Nothing. You lost her. A wave of disappointment crashes over you.

Way to go John. Nicolas Cage would have caught her, any one of your movie heroes would have caught her and kissed her out in the rain and made her feel alright but you let her go. You sink to the ground in defeat and curse your shitty eyesight. Curse not being fast enough. 

You failed. 

You take your glasses and wipe them on your shirt knowing full well its hopeless. Even if Vriska wasn't already gone by now. Even if by some miracle she was still within eyesight. Even if your shirt wasn't just as wet as glasses. Even if you managed to dry our glasses then the rain would just get them sopping wet again in less than couple seconds. You put them back on and in the distance you glimpse the same blue backpack like a lighthouse in storm. 

The vision of the backpack lasts only for a second before the rain effectively blinds yet again, but you saw it. You saw her. 

You ditch your stuff by the door praying to god that whatever material backpacks are made of is at least semi water resistant because you have all your books inside and you bolt in the direction of the backpack. 

The cold doesn't seem as bad anymore but the wind is picking up. You can hear it whish around you as you run, and you can feel the raindrops it pushes into your way. You're careful not to slip and and with each step a little splash of water shoots out from under your shoe. 

When the backpack fades into sight as a big blue blob you give yourself a mental high five(not a real self-five cause only Dave can high-five himself and not make it look super lame). As far as you can tell, she's walking not running which is good for you. You get close enough to finally make out her body instead of just her backpack. She looks way too short until you realize that she's sitting not standing. She's sitting on the grass looking away from you into the distance. 

You sit down next to her cautiously but she doesn't notice you. You cough your throat but the rain drowns out the noise. You hold out your arm to place on her shoulder(at least you hope its her shoulder, you still can't see very well so for all you know you're reaching out toward her boob) and grab it reassuringly. You feel her tense up almost immediately under your hand and then she reacts. 

First you feel her elbow jab into your stomach cutting off your air and sending you reeling back with a gasp. She twirls around her fist clenched and moving towards you in what will certainly be a very painful punch in the face. Its a testament to your stupidity that instead of raising your arms to defend yourself, or even just focusing on the fist flying towards your face, all you can think about is how her hair twirled when she turned around and how it reminds you of Jennifer Garners hair in the movie Elektra, and how that movie was awesome even though everyone said it sucked. You close your eyes and wait for her fist to hit your face.

“John???????? What the hell are you doing here?”

You open your eyes and she's looking at you with such a look of bewilderment that you think you must have grown like an extra limb or something. 

“I could ask you the same question” She doesn't understand you over the din of the rainstorm

“I just wanted to make sure you're okay!!!” You say loudly, almost yelling to make yourself heard. 

She looks shocked. Whatever she was expecting to hear, it wasn't that. Perhaps you should give her a moment to respond. She's obviously a wreck right now even if she doesn't show it. You should just wait for her to say something and then listen and be supportive and all that crap that Rose is always telling you to do. But you are John Egbert, and you are nervous and cold, sitting out here in the rain with Vriska, and whenever you are nervous you start to ramble. A lot. 

“I mean it can't have been easy seeing Nepeta and you took off so I asked Dave where you went and he just shrugged like he always does so I left the cafeteria and then I saw your backpack turn down the hallway, well actually I wasn't sure if it was your backpack but I figured it was since it looked like yours and I didn't really have anything else to go off of, so I went down the hallway and I saw the outside doors close so I figured you went outside and then I went outside but it was raining really hard and I couldn’t see crap because my glasses got wet so I took my glasses and wiped them on my shirt and OUCH” She had punched you on the arm. 

“Shut up you goddamn idiot” She says before throwing her arms around your neck and burying her head in your shoulder. “Learn when to shut up dum8ass” She mutters into your neck. 

You can feel her uneven breaths against your chest. She seems so fragile now. She puts up a facade of a tough-as-nails girl but right now, with her panicky breaths against your neck and her trembling chest against yours, you see another Vriska. A broken Vriska, and though you might not like everything about cold guarded Vriska, broken Vriska is a thousand times worse.

You place your hands awkwardly around her, hesitantly as if she were a bomb. You should say something but she told you to shut up so you just sit there in the rain holding her as she deals with whatever shit made her like this. She's made of fire and life, its so wrong to see her like this.

If there's one thing that sucks, its not knowing whats wrong with someone you love and wanting more than anything to fix them but not knowing how to so you just keep quiet and hold them till the rain passes.

The rain doesn't pass. A storm like this doesn't just disappear, but you feel Vriska start to relax. Her breathing returns to normal and her heartbeat slows against your chest.

She leans back and looks at you. Her hair is a sopping mess, her eyeshadow is running down her face, and her eyes are a puffy red but you can honestly say that she's never been more beautiful. 

“What the hell do you see in me?” She whispers, more for herself than for you to hear but you catch it anyway.

You run rapidly through your list of movies looking for the perfect quote to say to her but for some reason the only one you can think of is from the end of The Proposal, the one that starts with “Three days ago I loathed you” and somehow that doesn't seem quite right for this situation. So you say your own quote,

“I see an angel” You whisper back. 

She's quite for a couple of seconds and then she straight up laughs. Not quite the reaction you were hoping for...

“Oh John that was the cheesiest one liner ever!!!!!!!!”  
She collapses on the grass in fits of laughter and you should be offended cause well that was totally a big romantic gesture you made that she's laughing at but... she's smiling. Not the half smile she does sometimes, not the smirk she loves, its an actual legit 8 million dollar smile and if it took you making a fool out of yourself to bring that out of her then its still worth it. 

Still you can't let her get away with it scotch free. You scoop up some water from a puddle nearby and throw the water at her. The water shakes her out of her laughter spasms.  
“Joooooooohn!! You did not just throw water at me!!”  
And thus starts the most pointless water fight of all time. The two of you are drenched, its literally impossible for you to be any wetter, but you and Vriska keep launching handfuls of water at each other and dodging the other's throws as if that's going to make a difference. Eventually she tackles you to keep you from throwing more water at her and the two of you crash back into the grass(though marsh or swamp would be a more accurate description right about now). You relax with her on top of you and she gets a faroff distant look as she thinks about god-knows-what.

“Nepeta probably hates me doesn't she?”

“No, of course not!!” She doesn't believe you. You can tell from the way she doesn't meet your eyes.

“Ma-maybe if you told me why you pushed her down the stairs?” You ask hesitantly

Wrong thing to say. She flinches and leans back away from you. She moves her feet back to get off you and stand back up but you grab her wrist before she can move away.  
“Okay you don't have to tell me. But you should apologize to Nepeta, you can do that right?”

She shakes her head slowly, subconsciously, without saying anything.

“Vriska you _have to_ apologize to Nepeta” 

She looks back at you, her eyes filled with uncertainty and she slowly nods.

“Awesome” You say and you stand back up and offer her your hand which she doesn't take. You take your hand away, trying not to look just a little hurt. Your back feels all wet and gross from lying in the grass and its probably caked with mud and turf right now. The two of you walk back slowly towards the school . She's no longer the happy hyper girl who was laughing her ass off on the grass and pelting you with handfuls of water, but compared to the emotional wreck that she was a couple of minutes you'll take what you can get. The rain doesn't seem nearly as cold on the way back.

******

“Johnkitty!!! Mew are compurretely wet, aren't mew furrezing???” Sometimes its hard to understand Nepeta when she uses her cat puns but you've pretty much learned to roll with it. 

“John where'd you go??? You disappeared on us!! Purr Nepeta was compurretely heartbroken when she didn't get to greet mew” Oh great Jade's using cat puns too.

“Im all right, I just slipped in a puddle on my way to get some stuff from my locker” You lie hoping they'll buy it. They don't buy it. Jade gives you her no-shit-sherlock face. Rose walks back over to the table from throwing her trash away and says “Whats John lying about?”

“Im not lying!!!!”

“John I have psychologically analyzed each and every one of my friends and determined their individual “tells” for when they are concocting a deliberate falsehood. You looked to the left just now after answering a question from Jade I imagine. This is your brains method of accessing constructed memories or experiences, also known as _falsehoods_. Now are you going to explain why you felt the need to lie to us or do I need to bring Kanaya over here and ask you about your childhood and how your parental figures obsession with baked pastries has led you to become the duplicitous pathological liar that you have just demonstrated yourself to be?”

“Wait so you know when anyone in our group is lying?” You attempt to pull off the highly risky change subject ability, reserved only for conversation ninjas of the highest rank. 

“Most everyone. I figured out yours and Jade's years ago as well as those of Karkat's and Sollux's recently” She says. Karkat and Sollux are classmates who sometimes sit with you guys. You like them even if Karkat likes to yell. A lot. 

“Then Kanaya joined my little investigation and discovered the tells of Equius and several other of our classmates and teachers. For example that quiz that Mr. Ruttledge said he was going to give us on friday... he cracked his knuckles right after he announced it which means its all a sham to get us to actually study and he'll cancel it the day before. In fact the only tell which has eluded us till now is that of our dear friend Dave Strider over here though I do have a couple suspicions as to what his could be. But you are attempting to change the subject which intrigues me all the more as to why you are being deceitful towards us”

Curse it! The change subject ability failed and you are left with only the emotionally protest ability to get you out of this interrogation.

“Look I'm not lying!!!” 

“John expects us to believe he _slipped on a puddle_ on the way to his locker” 

“Okay I actually went for a walk!! I like to walk outside sometimes”

“You went outside, _in a rainstorm_ , leaving your friends behind because you _like to walk outside?_ Jade's voice drips with cynicism.

“Yea” You nod vigorously and catch yourself looking left involuntarily. Damn it!! Curse Rose and her psychobabble magic. Still you're wasting time and you promised her it would only take a moment. 

“Look I'm not lying and I'll answer any questions you guys have later but right now is it okay if I steal Nepeta away for a minute? I need to talk with her alone” You keep your eyes fixed on Rose's violet ones making sure not to move them a single inch, left or otherwise. 

“Mew??” Nepeta points at herself with a shocked look.  
Rose hums thoughtfully and you can practically see the therapist inside her brain scribbling down notes on a yellow legal pad. 

“It'll only take a minute”

She gives you a big anime Nep-smile. “Sure Johnkitty”

*****

Yea this was a terrible idea. 

Like really terrible. You're like one of those characters in horror movies that are all like “Oh hey guys lets go into the forest at night while a mass murderer is on the loose it'll be fun!!!!” And everybody watching at the movie theater is all like “Dumbass, what'd you think was going to happen?” when you get your head bashed in. 

In retrospect it was a pretty crummy idea to bring Nepeta face to face with the chick who sent her flying down a flight of stairs without any warning. You just didn't want to make it any harder for Vriska than this had to be and apologizing to Nepeta at the table with everyone watching would have fallen smackdab in the middle of the “harder” category. 

“Nepeta its okay!!! Vriska wanted to apologize!!” Nepeta's hiss cuts you off. She's _hissing_ at Vriska and Vriska is giving a pretty good death glare back. 

Vriska licks the blood off the three scars that Nepeta left on her hand. Nepeta had lunged at Vriska's face with her nails like a panther and only Vriska's quick reflexes prevented the scars from being on her cheek instead of her hand. 

Her nails were sharp as claws!! She had cut you too, hopefully by accident, when you had stepped in between the two of them. Your cut wasn't dripping blood like Vriska's but it was pretty nasty and you could feel it shoot currents of pain up your arm. 

 

Nepeta stops hissing but she keeps her nails pointed at Vriska, ready to gouge out her eyes or something.  
“Apologize?” She asks with a murderous tint to her voice.

“Yes apologize, _right Vriska?_ ” Vriska gives you a this-was-a-terrible-idea-im-going-to-kill-you-after-this glare before looking back at Nepeta

“U-umm yea I guess im kind of sorry for...”

“Im _deeply_ sorry for” You interrupt. 

Her this-was-a-terrible-idea-im-going-to-kill-you-after-this glare turns into a im-going-to-rip-out-your-intestines-through-your-ass glare.

“Im deeply sorry for kicking you down the stairs”

You nudge her and she jabs her shoe down on your foot. 

“And for giving you a concussion and sending you to a hospital”

Vriska's face looks like she just bit down on a lemon. Nepeta looks at both of you skeptically, her face a shade of hostility that you've never seen her with. You both are silent waiting for Nepeta's verdict and you feel Vriska tense beside you and her hand close into a fist. 

Nepeta pulls her hands back into the sleeves of her sweater and you breathe a sigh of relief. 

“I'll furgive mew because John seems to think I should, but if mew touch me again or anyone I love than I swear to god I will tear mew apart. And if that doesn't scare you then just know Equitty would _kill_ to protect me” Her voice is sincere as hell and you feel a shiver down your spine. 

Vriska starts to mumble “been there done that” under her breath and you nudge her.  
“Thanks Nepeta you won't regret it” You say but she already flicked off Vriska and went back into the cafeteria. 

You turn towards Vriska who still looks like she's pissed off. You step closer and grab her hand with yours to get a better look at her scars. She hisses at you.

“Don't hiss at me!! Im just making sure these cuts aren't going to get infected” They don't look too bad. There's dried blood from where the blood oozed out but it looks like they stopped bleeding. You drag her towards the water fountain and soak her hand in water in water(or resoak its still pretty wet from before). You use your thumb to wipe off the caked blood that didn't come off careful not to touch any of the open cuts. She bares her teeth tries to pull her hand away but you don't don't give her any chance to. When you're done her hand looks a lot better. 

“Cat girl sure has some wicked ass nails” She says and you look at her a moment before erupting into laughter. You don't know why its so funny but just the way that she said wicked ass nails and you're all but rolling around on the floor in throes of laughter while she just looks at you with a “You're weird it wasn't that funny” look. Your chest hurts from laughing so much and eventually she joins in too giggling manically. 

“Wicked ass nails” You gasp out in between deep gasping breaths and the two of you don't stop laughing until the bell signals the end of lunch.


	10. R4D1C4L P4RTY DUD3!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one with an invitation to a party, a radical chick, a smoking hot chick, a game of truth or dare, seven minutes in heaven, an unspecified amount of "LEAVES, SHROOMS, AND SHIT", and a kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep as always PLEASE tell me what you think. I almost didn't get this chapter written(it was a wicked case of writers blocks) but then i decided hell why not lets do a party scene those are always fun to write

_The Nanny_  
Max: If I found a woman who loved my children, could make me laugh and that I found attractive, well, I'd never let her go.  
(puts his arm around Fran's shoulders and gets his watch caught on her)  
Fran: Oh, we're stuck on each other. 

_John POV_

“And then if you take the cosine of the angle you can find the length of the hypotenuse”

Your hand starts to hurt so you take a break from writing notes and glance around the room. Most of the people in this class are people you know by name but never talk to. The only two you would really consider friends are Rose two seats in front of you, and Karkat a couple rows back. Oh and Feferi in the first row but she's so bubbly and nice to everyone that being friends with her is basically a given. 

“Now if we have a 30-60-90 triangle and we know that angle A is 3 units long then how would we go about finding the length of the hypotenuse? … Anyone? Well if we look at the basic 30-60-90 triangle then we know that...”

This teacher, Mr, Yin, does that sometimes. He'll ask a question and when nobody answers he'll just keep on going. You're pretty sure the whole class could be empty and he would still be like “Okay students which operation should we do next?” Not that you're complaining, he's actually a pretty good teacher and god knows you need the help in math. Science is your forte, science and music. 

Nobody's really paying attention to him. The jocks in the back are throwing a tennis ball around and bouncing it off walls. The kid next to you is dead asleep. Big surprise there. His name is Clovis or something like that and you've actually never seen him awake in class. He'll pop into the seat two minutes before class, drop his bag on the ground, place his head on the desk and by the time the bell rings he's dead to the world. Funny thing is he always wakes up one minute before the bell for the next class rings. One minute exactly, you timed it. That kid's a sleep god. You look at Rose and she has her nose stuck in a book. Again big surprise there. Knowing rose its either a psychology textbook or an encyclopedia of obscure mythological monsters. You look back and chuckle a bit at what Karkats doing. 

Karkat is holding his pencil reverently with both hands studying it intently. He looks like a knight that's presenting a magic sword to his king. You watch him slowly drag the pencil through each of his fingers, under one then over one then back under the next finger, as if he was sewing a pencil sweater or something. He brings the pencil closer to his eyes, as if it could give him the secrets of the universe, and one of his fingers drags its way from the bottom of the worn eraser to the tip before almost caressing the lead point. God if Karkat knew you were watching him!! 

He starts to twirl the pencil in the air, slowly at first. His hand gets used to the movement and he starts going faster and faster. You see his grin grow wider as the pencil picks up speed and you have to stifle a laugh. He's still twirling the pencil but suddenly he messes up the hand motion and oh my god you turn back forward and place your head in your hands to conceal the waves of laughter that threaten to give away your master spying. 

He sent the pencil launching through the room! Not only that but it gets stuck in Melindas poofy hair and she didn't even notice. The look on Karkats face though!! It was the look of a child who has just dropped his lollipop. Poor chap. 

You're still thinking of how much you would pay to have caught that moment on video when the girl next to you passes you a note. 

_“For me?”_ You mouth. She nods and then points at a girl in the third row. Oh its Latula! You don't really know her that well but she seems pretty cool you guess. She has kind of a 90's chick personality and the first time you met her she gave you a high five that left your hand bruised for hours. 

_“wazzup stud??? hey ya got any wicked planz for tonight or ya feelz like chillin with this skatr grl? Radicalz what this chick needs after a hella snoozing class like this so ima throw the most RADICAL party eva at my place. Ya hip for it?”_

_“Sure :) Can I bring some friends?”_

_“Shoot dudz!!! Id be hella dissapointed if ya didnt bring a coupla rad bros along, chill fter class for a minz and ill tell ya all the chill dets. Its gonna be wicked radz!!!!"_

You take out your phone and shoot Vriska a message

_“Hey you want to go to a party tonight?”_

******

“RADICAL YA PEEPS MADE IT!!!!” Latula's voice is loud enough that it can be heard over the blasting boom box. Geez what is this music?? Its like garage punk mixed with Pink Floyd and Radiohead.

“WHAT THE SHIT IS PLAYING?” Dave shouts next to you. He got invited too and though he acted like he was too cool to show up to some dumb party his bro was the one who picked all of you up to take you here. Behind you is Vriska, Jade, and Rose. 

“A GRLS GOTTA LISTEN TO WHAT A GRLS GOTTA LISTEN YA FEEL?? DONT YA WORRY I GOT A WICKED PUNK-SKA ALBUM COMING UP, AINT NO RAD PEEPZ THAT DONT LOVE REEL BIG FISH!!!!”

Dave looks insulted, he's about a second away from going off on a rant and showing Latula what “real music” is (trust me you've been the victim of that rant more times than you care to count) but right then Latula ushers you all inside and all you can really say is “Wow!”

Her house is a mansion, huge enough that even the preposterous amount of people inside can't make it look small. How did she get so many people to come??? Seems like half the school's here. 

“ILL GIVA YA A QUICK RUNDOWN OF WHAT ALL THESE TOOLS ARE UP TO... HERE WE GOT PEEPS CHILLING AND DANCING TO THE BEATS, WE GOT A COUPLE BROS TRYING TO SET UP THE DISCOBALL ON THE BALCONY SO THINGS COULD TURN REAL WICKED IN HERE SOON. SEE THAT LADDER??? LEADS UP TO THE ROOF, RIGHT NOW ITS JUST SOME HOMIES CHILLING AND DOING BACKFLIPS OFF THE ROOF BUT LATER WE GONNA BLOW SOME ROCKETS, LIGHT UP THE SKY ALL RADICAL LIKE. THROUGH THERE'S THE BACKYARD, THEMS PLAYING FOOTBALL OR SOME WICKED SHIT LIKE THAT. THERE'S A FLIPLOAD O' GATORS BACK THERE NEAR THE LAKE SO DONT GET EATEN OR ITLL TOTES HOSE THE PARTY. DOWNSTAIRS WE GOT THE BASEMENT AND SOME RAD PARTY GAMES GOING ON. LAST I HEARD THEY WERE TRIPPING TO SET UP A GAME OF SPIN THE BOTTLE. THATS BOUT IT FOR WHAT TO DO SO IMMA LEAVE YA BROS AND BRAS TO DO WHATEVER SPINS YA BOARD BUT FEEL FREE TO ASK THIS RAD CHICK FOR ANY HELP” Latula grabs the ladder and starts to go up but pauses halfway and looks down. 

“HEY IF Y'ALL NEED ANY TRIPS TO GET YOUR RAD GOING GAMZ OVA THERE IS SELLING A WHOLE BUNCH OF WICKED LEAVES AND SHROOMS AND SHIT”

“LATULA THATS ILLEGAL” You try to say but it comes out as a squeak and an unintelligible mess of words. Your shocked face conveys the message however. 

“HEY I FEEL YOU DUDE I DONT DO ANY OF THAT SHIT EITHER. HELL IF YA NEED TO GET HIGH TO PARTY THAT JUST MEANS YA AINT RAD ENOUGH BUT SOME PEEPS JUST NEED THAT STUFF AND I AINT JUDGING”

You turn back towards your group “WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?”

Jade starts walking toward the stairs leading downstairs to the basement “LETS GO PLAY SOME GAMES”

*****

Vriska POV

“Truth or dare Strider?”

“Dare”

The bottle's pointed at Dave and it's your turn to think of a dare. 

“Kiss the hottest piece of ass in the room”

Dave leans back against the wall and adjusts his shades “I would but its kind of hard to smooch yourself”

This response earns him a punch on the arm from Jade and a “come on strider don't wimp out now”

Now's the moment where you find out who's right between you and John. If John's right and Dave and Jade are just friends then Dave will probably choose Porrim over there. You're a girl and even you think she's SMOKING HOT. Damn is it even LEGAL to be that hot?? Her dress is just showing off the twins, man those boobs are like twice as big as yours. Her dress doesn't help, one loose shoulder strap teasing you with flashes of ample bosom. Rumor says there's a snake tattoo that goes all the way up her leg and through her whole body with the head ending right below her stomach and the tongue touching her pussy. You wouldn't mind finding out for yourself whether or not that particular rumor is true. Woah where'd that thought come from??

You are almost certainly not homosexual!! Oh who are you kidding if it was porrim you would probably be licking her tattoos all over not even giving 8 shits what gender she was. 

Anyway so that's who Dave would pick if John is right, BUT you are almost certain that he has his eye on another chick. A chick by the name of Jade Harley.

He's looking at all the choices, his eyes lingering on each. He looks at you for a little too long and you mentally curse him. If he picks you...

I mean not that he isn't pretty hot, all the swordfighting that he does in his free time has left him with more muscle than the average Joe but you already have your sights on a guy and his name is NOT Dave Strider. 

He passes over you and you breathe a sigh of relief. 

“Come on Strider we don't got all day here!!!” You say when he leans back against the wall as if none of the chicks here could ever be worthy of him. 

"Hey Harley do me a solid and don't stare at me like that.I know i'm hot but seriously I feel like im a slab of meat and you're a wolf and its throwing off my game, this is some seriously nerve wracking choices here and it don't help none if I got the Harley eyes trained on me ready to pounce"

"Well excuse me David!!!" She uses his full name which means she's either pissed at him or pretending to be(its hard to tell with her sometimes). "Don't mind me I'll just close my eyes and lean against this wall maybe fall asleep for a bit, if you ever get your pompous head out of your head and actually get the dare over with then make sure to wake me up" 

Jade closes her eyes so she doesn't see Dave get up and walk towards her. She doesn't see him kneel down in front of her and take off his shades before leaning in. And she doesn't open her eyes when their lips touch and Dave's hand runs through her hair to rest at the back of her head. Their kiss lasts for far too long neither person willing to break away until John coughes loudly and Jade pulls back. Dave places a stray lock of her hair that fell across her face back behind her ear and takes off her glasses gently replacing them with his shades. You have to admit he can be pretty smooth. And it looks like John is going to be losing that bet sooner than expected. You sneak a smirk in his direction but he's looking awkwardly in Jade's direction. Probably torn between protecting his little sister and high fiving his best friend. 

Latula pops into your group from upstairs and you really don't want to know what she was doing because she has spaghetti strands all tangled up in her hair and what looks like jello on her face. "SUP BITCHES" she yells and raises her hand to give you a high five.

You raise your hand and DAMN THAT HURTS!!!! Shit how is it even possible for a high five to hurt that much?????

"THROW THAT BOTTLE OUT WE'RE PLAYING SEVEN MINUTES IN RADNESS"

"You mean 7 minutes in heaven?" Rose asks 

"WELL YEA SIS BUT WERE PLAYING IT LATULA STYLE"

"OKAY SHADE SIS YOU'RE GOING IN THAT CLOSET, JOHN YOU'RE IN THAT ONE, DAMARA FAR ROOM, MEGIDO OVER THER, AND PORRIM YOU GET THE BATHROOM. MOVE IT PEEPS WE AINT GOT ALL NIGHT!!" 

John gives you a nervous smile before Latula blindfolds him and stuffs him into the closet. 

"OKAY ROSE YOU GET THE RAD PIECE OF ASS THAT IS PORRIM. IM JELLY SIS IVE BEEN AFTER HER WICKED BOD FOR AGES"

Rose looks at Kanaya for permission and Kanaya gives her a quick peck on the lips before pushing her up and towards the bathroom. 

"KANAYA YOU GOT DAMARA, BE CAREFUL WITH HER SHE BROKE A KID'S HIP BONE LAST TIME WE PLAYED THIS GAME FROM GRINDING TOO HARD. I THINK YOU CAN TAKE HER THO" Latula gives Kanaya a light slap on the ass when Kanaya goes toward the closet where Damara is blindfolded. 

"DAVE YA STILL GOT JADES LIPSMEAR ON YOU SO MIGHT AS WELL GO FINISH UP WITH HER. MAKE HER SQUEAL COOL KID" He gives her a cool kid nod before heading off toward blindfolded jade. 

"SPIDER SIS I'LL GIVE YOU ARADIA, QUICK TIP HER ASS IS TICKLISH AS HELL DON'T ASK HOW I KNOW THAT AND ILL TAKE THE HOT PIECE OF SHIT THAT IS JOHN EGBERT. THAT BOUT COVERS IT DON'T IT?"

Woah what?! Oh hell no!! No, no way are you letting this skater chick take your dorky idiot. Not happening. Hell would have to freeze over like 8 times for you to be okay with that. 

"Hey skter sis" You say mocking her accent while getting up with as much swagger as you can muster. "John's my guy you can take boobs over there"  
You walk past her and that bitch is smirking at you. You would stop and make her tell you what the hell she's smirking it but you have some business to attend to in that closet. 

You open the door to see John standing nervously next to a rack of shoes his fingers picking at the blindfold as if not sure whther he should try to remove it or not. He stops when he hears the door open.

"Vriska?" He asks.

"How the hell did ya know?" 

"Your perfume... its like an oceany smell" You blush a little at the idea that this dork knows what your perfume smells like. 

"Stalker, I can't believe you can smell me!!!!"

"Sorry" He says apologetically, a little less nervous than before. 

"Now do you mind shutting up?? I was promised seven minutes in heaven and now I only have" You look at your watch "six minutes and 13 seconds in heaven" You lean closer and drag your fingers slowly up his arm. 

You really want to kiss this idiot. And not just because you're a horny teenager(tho you are). You want to kiss him cause you've never met anyone like him. Anyone who genuinely seems to smile when they see you, anyone who pays attention to your obsession with eights and your perfume, anyone who makes you feel special. John Egbert really is something else, something precious. He's your dorky idiot and when Vriska Serket finds her dorky idiot she sure as hell makes sure to keep him. 

You interlock your fingers with his and press both your fists against the wall. You lean closer and breath warm air on his neck and he rewards you with a throaty moan. He opens his mouth in what could be a protest but shuts up when you drag your bare feet up his leg and step in closer so your thigh is pressed up by his. He takes a couple deep breaths and relaxes visibly. That was what you were waiting for, you lean in slowly tilting your head to the side, near enough that you can feel his hair on your forehead and his warm breath on your lips.  
"Vr-vriska" he moans and you keep your lips a centimeter away from his as your legs continue to move against his making his heart beat faster and faster. 

"Yea?" You whisper as you slowly press your stomach inch by inch against his. He gulps and you can hear him almost moan again as his fingers become slack against yours. 

"I, I li-like you"

"I like you too you idiot" You let go of one of his hands and ghost your nails across his back beneath his shirt, subtle enough that its barely noticeable, and you feel his whole body shiver in pleasure at your movements. 

"Oh god" He whispers and you grin at the reaction you're making him have. "s-see t-the thing is,"

"Yea?" You're whispering in his ear now, a soft croon. 

"I, i wa-want our fi- oh god, our f-first kiss t-to b-be, to be special" 

That catches you by surprise. Your hand drops out of his shirt where it was doing its magic and you move back just a little. "What does that mean? Do you not want to kiss me now?" You have to admit you're a little offended. You were pulling out all the moves.

"No!!! Of course I do!!" His hands find yours and interlock themselves once more with the grooves between your fingers. "I j-just, I want it to be this perfect romantic kiss like under the stars, on the roof" He's talking faster now as he starts to gain confidence and you have a feeling he's thought of all this before. "I want to spend the whole day with you, and then just lay down on the roof and point out the stars, and just stay there the whole night talking or listening to music or anything, and then watch the sunrise together holding hands and then say your name and you turn and then just kiss you right before the sun comes up" 

"You've sure planned this out a lot" You say jokingly

"Well, ever since I met you I've kind of been thinking about it" Damn your guy's smooth. You can almost forgive him for totally rejecting your hot seven minute makeout since he is just so godddamn sweet. It doesn't hurt that you felt his muscles a little when you were seducing him and he is most definitely NOT LACKING in that department. 

"I think that kiss can be arranged" You say making sure to breathe warm air directly on top of the little hairs on his neck to make him shudder involuntarily. He might be sweet but you have to punish him somehow dont you?

You untangle your hand from his and raise the blindfold from his eyes. His gorgeaus blue eyes make your heart skip a beat. 

"Really?" He says hestitantly, as if he was expecting you to make fun of him or say his idea was stupid. 

"Hell yea dumbass"

He breaks into a smile and brings one hand to try and untangle a strand of your hair that got caught on his glasses but all he manages to do is get it even more tangled in the metal frame which makes you giggle a little.  
"Vriska you're stuck on me!!!" 

"Always and forever you dork" You say before you take off his glasses to try to make some sense of the tangled knot that your hair decided to make on it. 

You're both quiet for a minute, but its a good kind of quiet. The kind where you're just happy to be with the person you're with and there's no need for thoughts or words or anything really except just being happy for a moment. 

"You know all those things you said, the hanging out all day and shit," You say still untangling your stupid goddamn hair. "Isn't that usually the stuff that couples do?"

"Umm yeah, i guess"

"So are you going to be a wuss or are you going to ask me out?"

He smiles at that, "I don't know, being a wuss sounds pretty interesting" You sock him in the arm and he yells in pain.  
Before he can keep talking you hear Latulas voice from outside the door. "HEY PEEPS FUNTIMES OVER, PUT ALL YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON AND COME ON OUT"

You move to open the door but John grabs your arm before you can turn the knob. "Hey Vriska you umm, you want to be... you know... with me?"

He's such a dork! "Say it again in a less wimpy way and I'll think about it"

"Vrisskkkaaa!!!"

"Im waiting" You tap your watch for dramatic emphasis. 

He sighs and takes a deep breath,  
"Hey Vris! You want to be my girl?"

"Much better!! And yea sure I guess you wouldn't be a teeeeeeeerible boyfriend" You say with a smirk

"HEY JOHN AND VRISKA TIMES UP DAWGS WERE WAITING"

John leans up and kisses you on the cheek before opening the doorknob and walking out. 

Yep. John is deeeeeeeefinitely eight times over YOUR dork.


	11. 1000 breaths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one with some late night texting, an unwelcome pester from an old flame, and a choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So im graduating today... ADIOS HIGH SCHOOL!! XDD  
> "we both know that okay is a very flirty word. Okay is BURSTING with sensuality." - FIOS  
> Oh and I apologize in advance if this chapter is somewhat depressing, I told you it was going to be sadstuck!!(I warned you about the sadstuck bro I warned you)

_Vriska POV_

_"Drop your weapons on the floor and keep your hands out where we can see them" They had 9 men, including the two hiding in the 2nd floor third room to the right of the dilapidated building across the street. Having backup was all well and good but it kind of ruined the point if they couldn't pick a good hiding spot worth jack shit. All of them had guns._

_You keep your head down and giggle nervously. "just a little city girl" you whisper to yourself and you force your eyes to show fear as you meet the gaze of the head thug.  
"No weapons...sir, boss, chief" Both hands up, palms outstretched. Make yourself look shorter than you actually are. Fit the part. _

_"So Dualscar was too much of a pansy to show up eh, figures" He signals for one of the thugs to pat you down. You quelch down years of instinct and force your body to tense in all the wrong places as his meaty hands pass through all the crevices of your body, in between your bosom, up your thigh. Tense like a scared girl would, not like a warrior about to strike. He's too focused on the obvious areas, they always are, and he misses the switchblade you taped to the back of your neck and painstakingly covered with your mess of hair. Even if he had found it then you would have just had to make do with the razor cutting up against your cheek. Its a very useful skill to be able to talk with a sharp piece of metal in your mouth, one that cost you many long hours of practices and more than a several mouth cuts. The thug reveals a mess of jagged and missing teeth in a cocky grin and you force the smirk from your face in lieu of nervously wrenching your eyes from his. You're going to enjoy this very much._

_"She clear boss"_

_"Okay doll whats your message?"_

_You fish out the note from your pocket and hand it over to him. You know what it says of course, you were the one who wrote it_

_"Dear esteemed rival and leader of the Downtown Kings" He pauses to pull out a cigar from his breast pocket and light it. "Dualscar always was a pretentious douche wasn't he?"_

_"I've decided to accept your magnamious offer. Your gang will recieve the disputed territory of La Salle Street till McConnor Parkway. In return you give up your claim on Bordeaux. In addition we agree to cease any shows of "aggression" against the other. As a token of my sincerity and an offer of my friendship I am giving you the use of my personal assistant Mrs. Mindfang. All I ask is that after you are done having your way with her you return her without any permanent damage as she is quite simply the best assistant I have yet to find."_

_A malicious glint sparks in his eyes as he looks up from the letter to peruse the secrets your tattered dress completely fail to hide._

_He hands the note to the thug next to him, and meticulously removes each of his white leather gloves before folding them carefully and placing them in his pocket. He walks right up to you and the smell of his overbearing cologne surrounds you as you fight the urge not to gag. One of his hands reaches up to caress your cheek coldly. Each of his nails is cut with a sense of care that would make any pedicurist cry and his palm is smooth as a baby's butt. He slaps your cheek with just a little bit of force, his face never changing from the ambivalent observer it portrays. You fake a little cry of pain. He's going to have to slap you a lot harder than that to get a real cry of pain. His hand stays on your cheek for a couple seconds before moving down towards your chin and he forces your eyes up to his._

_The wild arousal that he hides behind the mask of indifference shows itself in his eyes. His black beady eyes. Deep inside, he's just a man. And men are all the same. Push them in just the right way and they become putty in your hands._

_With someone else you might have pretended to be aroused. You would have bitten your lip, given a deep sigh of longing, twirled your hair a little around your finger. You might have touched his shoulder “accidentally,” subtly jutted out your chest, moved in just the right ways to give him all the dirty thoughts that would make him melt. With this guy however that tactic would never work. He was like Dualscar in that respect, he didn't want a horny chick to want the same things that he did, he wanted to be in control and take what he wanted without giving nothing in return. He would much prefer a girl who struggled against him, who put up a fight. You jerk your chin away from his hand and put a little bit of a rebellious venom into your glare._

_He does what you expected him to do. Take control. His left hand grips your waist cruelly with his nails and jerks you up against him. Another slap on your cheek, harder this time, and you feel the burning sensation that means that a nice red bruise is forming. His cigar stained breath is almost as powerful as the musky scent that is making you gag._

_You feel a hand cup around your left ass cheek and squeeze. Looks like his hand is getting a little more adventurous. You jut your waist back away from him experimentally and he shoves you back against the growing bulge in his pants. His tongue forces its way into yours barely missing the razor you have pushed up against your cheek and you feel his teeth grab hold of your lip and rip off a flap of skin with a breathy moan on his part. You feel his fingers move towards the opening in your thighs and you gasp in pain for real this time as he grabs and jerks upward._

_Time to move this along. This dude is getting WAY too comfortable groping you. You move one hand onto the bulge in his custom made italian pants to distract him and the other hand pulls out the switchblade hidden under your hair ripping off the tape that was keeping it tied to your neck._

_“Feel that?” You ask as he freezes in the middle of trying to fingerbang you._

_“That's four inches of steel sticking up against your dick” You smirk at how pale his already pale face gets on hearing this._

_“You'll never get out of this alive” He mutters “My men will shoot you and if you don't die then I will personally skin you alive and toss your dead carcass to my dogs“_

_His thing is still hard against your knife. Maybe he gets off on being threatened with castration. To each his own you guess._

_“Your men?” You smirk “You mean the men that are currently surrounded by a whole bunch of MY men?”_

_He turns his head to the side to see the last of his thugs raise his hands in surrender._

_“I have backup” He says desperately. “Call off your men or they'll shoot”_

_“Already taken care of. My boyfriend sent a couple of thugs to knock them out ages ago while you were busy groping me”_

_“Yo-your boyfriend?” His voice is shaking, all hints of the suave gang leader act gone with the turn of events._

_“Dualscar... maybe you've heard of him?”_

_He slumps defeated. “What do you want?”_

_“Oh I dont want anything... Our gang on the other hand wants payback for killing two of our members. A beating, maybe ransom you and try to extort some money from the idiots who chose you as leader.”_

_“Don't worry we don't kill prisoners... usually”_

******

Vriska woke up with a start to the sound of rain falling on her window. Her beating heart and the sweat dripping down her back were the only remnants of the nightmare that she had gained a temporary respite from. It was a moonless night and the room was so dark that Vriska wondered if she still had her eyes closed and hadn't realized it. Her locks clung to her forehead, sticky with sweat. 

Her hands reached for her knife and found only blankets. Her breathing stopped and her hands grew cold with fear. She rolled to the side and fell against the floor in her panic, the wood bruising her knuckles with its impact. She jerked open the bottom left cabinet of her dresser and blindly tore through the upper layer of socks to get to the small mahogany box that she knew was hidden at the bottom. For a couple seconds the box evaded her grasp and a wordless fear grew in Vriska's throat, choking her with its cruel grip. Then her nails scraped against wood and the knot of fear unfurled. She opened it and felt a shudder of relief pass through her fingers as the cold steel pressed against her feverish palms.

She kept the steel pressed on her palms before moving it up to her arms, feeling every muscle relax in her body, forgetting the nightmares that plagued her. She turned the flat of the blade perpendicular to her skin and gave a small sigh of relief at the sharp pain that came from running the edge of the knife along her skin. From years of experience Vriska knew how hard to press down on her skin to stop just short of drawing blood and even without light she knew the mark would fade in a matter of minutes.

She stopped the slow upward ascent of the tip and held at a spot in her arm about halfway between her shoulder blade and her elbow. Her breathing slowed as she pushed down a little harder and felt a single droplet break free from the punctured skin with a flood of endorphins. She felt alive.

A second ping on her computer reminded her what had woken her up and she turned on the screen to see an open pesterchum window with a veeeeeeeery familiar and unwelcome purple text. 

caligulasAquarium started pestering arachnidsGrip  
CA: hey babe  
ArachnidsGrip changed her status to FUCK OFF DUM8ASS!!!!!!!!  
CA: still ignoring me?  
ArachnidsGrip's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.  
CA: thats cold Fang  
CA: didnt our time together mean nothing?  
CA: that one time we hijacked a fuzz cruiser and had some fun in the backseat?  
ArachnidsGrip's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.  
CA: i aint here to grovel babe  
CA: you dont want my junk well i have plenty of other bitches to entertain me  
CA: naah i was actually going to give ya a warning one badass to another ex-badass  
CA: Fuzz hired some hotshot new private detective to poke around with some unsolved cases  
CA: and she's veeery interested in one case in particular  
CA: this name ring any bells:  
CA: Aradia Megido?  
ArachnidsGrip blocked CaligulasAquarium  
CA: I'll take that as a yes  
ArachnidsGrip has blocked your handle. Any messages you send will be made visible when your handle is unblocked  
CA: now if you were still part of my gang I could make life veery hard for Mrs. Hotshot Detective  
ArachnidsGrip has blocked your handle. Any messages you send will be made visible when your handle is unblocked  
CA: but you're not so I'll settle with giving you a warning  
CA: you should watch your back  
ArachnidsGrip has blocked your handle. Any messages you send will be made visible when your handle is unblocked  
CA: consider it a favor for old times sake  
ArachnidsGrip has blocked your handle. Any messages you send will be made visible when your handle is unblocked  
CaligulasAquarium ceased pestering ArachnidsGrip

 

How does she go about breathing again? Here eyes are squeezed shut but its too late. There's no unseeing the message that brought her nightmares to life and sent her tumbling helplessly into a pit of despair. 

The knife had clattered against the floor with a metallic clang and good thing to because at this moment Vriska felt like ripping a hole into her heart and ripping out whatever fucked up piece of it made her feel. Feel the warm, thick, blood pour out her gaping chest and paint her body in red as it should be. 

“What the fucks wrong with me?” The hoarse whisper sounds loud in Vriska's ears despite the pitter patter of rain outside. She bites her lip in anger, savagely ripping off a flap of skin to taste the tangy sweet taste of her blood oozing down her throat.

The message is still there, open, blinking, taunting her with its cheery color and its goddamn brightness. 

“Shut up” She says to noone in particular. To the computer, to the person who ruined her life, or to the ghost whose life she ruined. 

“Shut up” She can't look at the computer, or at her scarred hands. The hands of someone who deserves to die. 

“Shut, the, fuck, up” Each word is shot out with a venom and she reaches down for her knife, her eyes still closed shut, her teeth biting skin off from the inside of her cheek in a futile effort to get away. She pricks her finger on the blade before finding the hilt and picking it up slowly. The other hand reaches out behind the monitor and slowly traces its way to where a blue cable connects the monitor to the computer.

She pulls the cable out from behind the monitor and folding it over the edge of the knife pulls the knife up with a snap, severing the cord and behind her eyelids Vriska feel the room go back to complete darkness. 

Only then does she open her eyes. And though the feeling of being stuck in a bottomless pit doesn't go away, at least the goddamn computer isn't there to mock her and her fucked up life. 

The mahogany box goes back in the bottom drawer, but the knife is no longer in it. If she wants to have even a shot at sleeping through the rest of the night then the knife is staying next to her.

Under the covers, cold steel fastened to her leg, Vriska feels her breath slow but sleep eludes her. 

Her name twirls around Vriskas head, and her soft pleading voice is all Vriska can hear. 

758 breaths later, Vriska gives up on getting any sleep this night and turns on her bedroom light. The clock says 3:23. Only 2 and a half hours till school. Yayy!

1000 breaths later and the clock still hasn't moved. If she hadn't massacred the monitor like a bitch, then Vriska could probably have tried to pass the time watching you tube vids or something. As it was there was sitting watching the clock, and the knife at her hip was starting to look really good. 

Another 1000 breaths and the knife was no longer at her side. It was busy carving designs onto her skin, not hard enough to draw blood... yet anyway. 

At first it was just random shapes, circles, squares, random squiggles. Then her astrological sign, Scorpio, all over her body, even taking off her shirt to trace it on her chest. Finally she started to trace letters, the same ones over and over. An A on her neck, an R on her shoulder, another A on her wrist. The D fit perfectly in her palm. On and so forth until finally she was done and she felt the already fading marks burn into her as hot as fire, remembrance of her past sins, the one mistake that would never cease to haunt her. 

It had been so long since she had legit cut. The scars on her wrists and thighs were nothing more than faint lines, but right now Vriska would have loved nothing more than to slit her wrists and paint this whole fucked up world red. 

Her gaze fell on her phone. The last text from John is the first thing that pops up on the screen when she turns it on. “text me tomorrow” he had sent. 

Well it is technically tomorrow, why not leave it up to chance? Vriska used to love chance. The magic eight balls were still tucked in some corner of her closet, her magic dice still strewn under the table from the last time she had played Mytho-Magic with Tess. 

“If he texts back, then I don't do it” She whispers to herself.

The knife seems to call at her, a sirens lure, its deadliness surpassed only by its beauty.  
“If he doesn't, then why the fuck not?”

 

“hey you aw8ke?”

50 breaths and the screen shuts off on its own. 

50 more and Vriska picks up the knife.  
*****

John Pov

You've always been a light sleeper unlike Jade who could probably sleep through the apocalypse. Not that its ever been much of a problem since you can usually go back to sleep pretty easily if something wakes you up. 

When the ping from your phone first woke you up you just laid in bed for a minute or two. Most likely its Dave sending you a pic of his latest webcomic or snapchatting you a selfie with a bottle of apple juice or something. He's gotten in the habit of sending you late night messages and lately you've just started ignoring them. You close your eyes and try to fall asleep again but the phone's brightness level is at the max and you can see it even with your eyes closed. The phone is on your dresser, just out of reach, and with a regretful sigh you pull the covers off you and place your bare feet on the ground. 

“You aw8ke?” 

Oh its Vriska!! You ignore the little flutter of excitement that comes when you see her name and instead focus on the not so little flutter of confusion at the fact that she's texting you at... 3:45 in the morning. 

“Yep, is everything okay?”

Her reply pops up almost immediately. 

“Pshh John I am am8zing... like alw8ys ::::)”

Okay... you still don't entirely believe her, but if she says she's great then you guess you have no choice

“So... whats up?” That was a really lame text and you regret sending it almost immediately after your finger leaves the screen but what exactly are you supposed to talk about when someone texts you at 3 in the morning?

“Weeeeeeeell John, I can't sleep so YOU are going to entert8n me!”

“Uh sure?”

“Of coooooooourse! Now less talking and more entert8ning!!”

“Okay :)”

“Ok8y”

“Okay!!

“Ooooooookay”

“Ok xD”

“Stop saying okay!!!!!!!!”

“Ok I'll stop saying ok”

“You're such a DORK”

“Psh Vriska thats what you like about me”

“HowEVER did you find out?”

“Im magic Vriska, I know everything!!”

You don't talk about anything in particular. The nonsense you and Vriska text each other earns a special place of honor in the museum of things that make a whole lot of nonsense. The clock ticks past 4, past 5:30, and you are arguing about who the weirdest person in your grade is(You think its the dude whose lunch is the worksheets he gets in class, while she thinks its the chick who grabbed onto the teachers leg and wouldn't let go, eventually biting the other teachers who came to help pull her off. 

“Its paper dude!!”

“No way! Its rabies chick!!!!!!!!”

Eventually you both reach an impasse and decide that everyone except the two of you are weird as hell. 

“Hey you want to play three truths one lie?”

“How do you play?”

“You tell the other person three truths and one lie about yourself and the other person needs to needs to guess which one is the lie”

She doesn't respond immediately and as your waiting for your phone to buzz the alarm to wake up goes off and you almost drop it in surprise. The bus is going to be at the corner of your street in 20 minutes. 

“Sure, sounds cool I gueeeeeeeess”

“Cool! I have to get ready for school so one game each and then we'll talk later okay?”

“Ok8y”  
“Ok :)”

“We are NOT doing this again you dork!!!!!!!!”

“Okay xD Ill go first I guess”

“My four things are...

You look around your room for inspiration.

“One, I love cake. Two, my favorite color is blue...

"Three, after watching Finding Nemo I flushed our pet fish down the toilet so that he could find his dad, and four: my cousin Jake got me a bb gun for christmas and I held it the wrong way when I pulled the trigger and ended up shooting myself in the foot"

"John!! How exactly do you manage to shoot yourself in the foot with your own gun???????? Its the cake one, you told me you h8te c8ke like at least 8 times when you walked me home"

"Don't judge me xD BB guns are a lot harder to shoot than they look!!"

"Suuuuuuuure..."

"Okay fine well you go!!!"

Your dad calls you down, telling you to hurry up before you miss your bus. The scent of fresh belgian waffle floats up through the open door and you thank the heavens that you have a dad who's willing to wake up early to make you waffles. You tell him you'll be down in a second and you see that Vriska sent you a reply.

"Weeeeeeeell one is... Im Awesome!!!!!!!!"

"So thats the lie? xDD"

"Oh shut up!!"

"Come on hurry up I need to catch the bus"

"Who's more important John, me or the bus???"

"Thats a tough one... a bus doesn't annoy me as much"

"Joooooooohn!!!!!!!! You're so mean to me!!"

"Just kidding Vris :)"

"You 8etter 8e ::::)"

"Come on whats your four?"

"2: I once chugged 8 bags of sour skittles in a row and couldn't feel my tongue afterwards for the rest of the day"

"I can believe that... whats next?"

"3: I used to be in a gang and I did a lot of bad things to other people... people I barely knew"

"Vriska the lies are supposed to be believable XDDD"

This time she doesn't respond. You go downstairs and finish up a whole waffle, half with maple syrup, half with melted french vanilla ice cream on top, before you start to get worried. Maybe she had to go catch the bus? No, she doesn't take the bus for whatever reason. Maybe her phone died. That could be it. 

You turn on your phone again and see three little dots that mean that she's typing a reply, but the phone stays silent and after a minute of just studying the little blinking dots you shoot off a quick text.

"Vriska?"

Her text comes in immediately afterword, almost as if she had typed what she wanted to say and then kept her finger over the send key waiting for you to send her another message. 

"Hv to go"

Three little words. A million reasons for why she would have to stop texting you, and yet all you can think about is what you might have said to hurt her. 

Girls are weird, you think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!!  
> “I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.” Perks of Being a Wallflower
> 
> Fanfic rec of the week- http://archiveofourown.org/works/445519/chapters/762003 (Its AMAZING trust me)


	12. A Revel8tion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which Vriska avoids John, John finds Vriska, and an old secret is confessed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yea, sorry its like two days late this week has been kinda crazy... Hope you like it!!! xDD

EB: Hey have you by any chance seen Vriska?   
TG: Nope    
EB: Okay   
EB: Thanks anyways

You're starting to get worried. Vriska didn't meet you at your usual spot in the morning. She didn't respond to any of your texts, not after that last message she sent you, “hv to go.” 

“Maybe in the cafeteria” you think while any part of your mind thinks “You already looked there twice dumbass”

You spot a blue backpack walking out of the library and your heart jumps to your throat before you realize that that's blonde hair that’s spilling over the backpack, not black. 

The bell rings and you plod dejectedly towards your next class. Maybe she was just late to school? It doesn't explain why she wouldn't answer your texts, or why she stopped talking to you suddenly. Maybe she forgot to charge her phone and it died? That could make sense. Maybe,

A familiar sight breaks you out of your somber train of thoughts. A girl closing her locker, long locks of hair covering her ears and reaching almost down to her waist. A Nick Cage T-shirt from the movie face off not quite reaching down to the top of her jeans, and a veeeeeeeery familiar scowl.

She looks at you and you feel a current pass through you as your eyes catch hers. Her beautiful stormy gray eyes with enough power to make a dragon drop dead from fright. She gives you a nod and slams her locker closed breaking the moment of paralysis that had come over you when you saw her again. You rush forward but a massive influx of people from a side hallway gets between you and Vriska and you almost knock over a small redheaded freshman in your haste to push through the throng of people between you and the person you need to talk to right now.

The redheaded girl accepts your apology and you finally break through the crowd of people stampeding their way to class. Vriska is nowhere to be seen

Damn...

*****

It was meatloaf day in the cafeteria...

“Look all I said was that I would LOVE to see things from his point of view but my head won't fit that far up my ass” Karkat is fuming over the detention he got in social studies for profanity. 

“You altho thaid that hith parenth are walking public thervice announcementh for contraceptiveth”

“Yea so??? No reason to go all fucking apeshit bananas and start giving out detentions!!!” 

Dave pulls out an identical pink slip of paper and tosses it in front of Karkat as he opens up a bottle of apple juice from his backpack. 

“I got one too. Turns out old cranky math teachers just can't handle the Strider”

“What'd you do?” Jade steals the detention slip away from Karkat and reads what it says. “You got a detention for _having your shades on_?!!”

“Yea pretty much. Teach was all like “take off your shades” and I was like not happening its against my religion. And the she gave me a detention.”

“Th-thats fucking bullshit!!” Jade almost rips up the detention slip in anger.

“Its cool. Im like a modern day Gandhi or whatever. He didn't eat, I didn't take off my shades. Next there'll be movies madege about me and massive protests and before you know it BOOM, im declared king of awesomeness and supreme dictator of the world.”

Jade chuckles a bit despite her indignation. “The day you become supreme dictator of the world I'm building a spaceship and getting the hell off this sinking ship”

Rose leans over next to you and whispers in your ear. “Hey you okay?”

“U-uh ye-yea!!! Why, why would I n-not be okay?” The beating of your heart enunciates the shock you feel as your thoughts are interrupted. She fixes you with a dubious stare and you feel yourself wilt away with the force of her psycho-babble magic. 

“You can always talk to me you know... I'll even try to reserve judgment on the current state of your psychological well being if that makes you feel any better” You look at her violet eyes and are surprised to see a hint of concern in them. Rose is almost as bad as Dave at showing emotions. Those violet eyes have always been there for you. Once, a while ago, back when Dave first introduced you to his little sister, you thought that maybe she could be the girl for you. She's just so confident about everything she does, so collected and sure about herself. Now you don't have any feelings for her but that doesn't stop Rose from being one of your best friends. 

“Th-thanks Rose but I think I have everything under control” You shove the remains of what can only mercifully called meatloaf into the trash and hook the strap of your backpack over your shoulder before walking away from the table. Dave and Jade are too busy arguing with each other to notice you leave and you purposely keep your eyes away from Rose's. 

“Hey John?” Rose touches your shoulder to stop you and you turn around to face her. 

“I saw her going in that direction on my way to lunch” She says pointing in the direction of building 4 and you blush a little as you mutter a quiet thank you. One of these days you are going to get Rose to tell you exactly how she can read your mind at any moment.

“Go get her”   
*****

A couple minutes of searching through hallways(and an awkward encounter with a couple of potheads smoking weed) and you finally find her. She's reading the journal she was reading the first day you met her, a worn blue journal and her backpack is thrown on the floor in blatant disregard of the comfort of the contents inside. 

She's on the other side of the hallway and you tiptoe along the side of the wall so she can't see you getting closer.   
She keeps her head down in her book and you're only a couple of feet away when she speaks up.

“I heard you 8 minutes ago, you're about as stealthy as a one legged wombat in a wheelchair”

“Wombats are pretty stealthy you know. My uncle was a wombat ninja for the special ops wombat forces”

She still hasn't looked up at you so you can't tell if that made her smile or not. “So you're part wombat? That would explain a lot of things”

“Hey!!” You slump down next to her, your back against the wall but she doesn't close her book or match your eyes with her own. 

You let her read for a minute, listening to the crinkle of turning pages and her breathing next to you and the warmth of her legs close to yours. Pathetic attempts at conversation float through your mind, each lining up for review and each getting shot down by your thought police. You have no idea what to say! What do you say? Is it normal to be this confused when talking to the girl you like?

_I could talk about her book, try to change the subject, no thats stupid, last time I did that she gave me a black eye how about I tell her that I missed her at lunch, yea that ones good, wait what if she decides im too clingy, maybe im overreacting, she could have just come here for some peace and quiet, I should just try small talk. Small talk is comfortable, easy, I can do this. Wait what kind of small talk, how should I start it, oh god I have no idea how to talk to her at all do I?_

Your breathing lines up with hers after a while and all you hear is the sound of two breaths as one, overlaying the beating of your heart _and that infernal voice in your head_ telling you to talk to her, _shut up voice,_ you'll talk to her when you're good and ready, and that means when you know what you're going to say so you don't stutter out some random crap like a loser.

You get a sense of deja vu when she shuts her book. Her eyes connect with yours “What do you want?”

Hopefully this deja vu doesn't continue its course or your recently healed black eye might have a couple more days of pain and soreness in its future. 

“I-I, umm I just wanted to...” Your voice trails away to a quiet whisper. _See John this is what happens when you don't think of what to say beforehand!!_

“I just wanted to make sure you're all right” _Yea score one for me!! Charmsters Gambit +5 levels!!!_

_“I'm fine”_ Those two words are spit out with almost contempt and you are certain that whatever else she is Vriska Serket is not any manner of "fine" right now. Still you can't just say that you think she's lying. You might not be as good at conversation as you are with other stuff(Pranking!!!) but even you know its usually bad to call someone else a liar. 

“You sure?”

As she stands up you reach your hand to grab hers and stop her but you hesitate halfway and when she turns around to give you an icy glare you freeze.

“Look John, I'm fine!! And I don't need your help okay?!! So just back the fuck off!!”

You try to get up and she pushes you back down, her hands shoving against your shoulders and the hard tile floor lacerating the back of your shirt. You cry out in pain and your vision falters for a moment.

You close your eyes reflexively until your lungs decide _hey now would be a good time to start working again!!_ When you open them again you see Vriska again, extending her hand towards yours, her expression still guarded but no longer hostile. 

You only hesitate for a moment before taking her hand and she hauls you up roughly. You almost fall again from the force with which you jump up and as you totter dangerously she grabs your arm again and steadies you. 

“Thank you” The two words sound weak even to your ears and she gives you a dubious look. You didn't mean to thank her for pulling you up, she was the one who pushed you down after all. No, you were thanking her for not leaving. For staying with you.

“You want to know whats wrong?”

Whats the right answer? You want to tell her the truth but to be perfectly honest you have no idea what the right answer is. Yea you want to know what made her change so suddenly, what gave birth to the colder guarded part of her that doesn't let anyone or anything get close. But on the other hand... you really don't want to know. And it feels terrible to say it, but you really didn't want to know anything that could make you feel differently about her. You want Vriska to be that gorgeous girl who said that you smelled like cake, who almost kissed you in a closet, who cracks a smile when she sees you even though she tries so hard to hide it. 

“Yea” Its a lie. You don't want to know. But its also almost the truth. You _need_ to know. And you'll probably regret it later but right now all that matters is that Vriska, the girl who you lo... the girl you fell for, is being hurt by something and all you want to do is take whoever or whatever is hurting her and rip it to shreds because _nobody_ and you mean nobody, is allowed to hurt Vriska

Her gaze holds no compassion or kindness in it. Its the face of the girl who sat alone at a lunch table, before she told you her name, before you walked her home, before you asked her out and she said yes. 

“I-I used to be in a gang. We would break into stores, hijack cars, beat up rival gang members, pretty much anything except murder”

“o-oh” 

“For my initiation into the gang I walked an old lady across the street before stealing her wedding ring and her phone. I've pretended to be a prostitute, a mercenary, a kidnapped child, and a satanist all to get more money and power. I interrogated prisoners by throwing knives on each side of their head, close enough that one slip of my finger means they lose an eye. Anything you can think of I've done it.”

“S-so it wasn't a lie?”

“I wish” She says with a venom of regret. She looks down for a moment, sadness tinging her cheek with the hint of a tear and that single moment of weakness reminds you of who you're talking to. Yea she did some bad things once, but everyone deserves a second chance. Especially Vriska. It doesn't matter who she was, you know who she is. She's a girl and she has feelings like anyone else. 

You move forward and put your arms around her, bringing her close to you making the space between the two of you shrink and then disappear into nothingness. She tense against you even as you relax but you don't care because she's yours and you're never letting her go. Her breath warm against the crook of your neck and this feels perfect, like two halves of a soul finally being put back together where they belong.

“I dont care Vriska!! I don't care!”

She pushes you back, close enough that your hand is still on her waist and you can still smell her scent, but far enough that you can't feel her heart beat in time with yours anymore. 

“I don't care that you were in a gang, I don't care that you hurt people, I don't care! You know why??? Because the girl I l-lo, because the girl I fell head over heels for isn't the girl who did all those things. The girl I fell for is the girl right in front of me, the one who's amazing, and beautiful, and adorable, and who for some strange reason I can't seem to stop thinking about except the reason isn't really that strange because can't you just see how fucking perfect you are?”  
She relaxes back into you as you talk and your heart beats faster with her warmth. You twirl a stray lock of her hair around your finger and draw it back behind her ear. Her hair is silky smooth and as you move it back into place you can't help but be trapped by her eyes, her stunning stormy eyes that draw you in with a magic of their own. You use your finger to wipe away the hint of a tear that slipped past her shield of emotions. 

She tenses back up against you suddenly and pulls away, sending a small current of disappointment through you. You move your hands down to grab hers but she pulls them away forcefully and steps away out of your reach.

“John” She doesn't look at you when she talks and her fists are balled up in fists at her side but her voice isn't angry. She sounds on the verge of tears, her voice breaking on the crags of whatever rocky hell she's been through. 

“y-yes?” You step closer and she steps back. You look at her clenched fists and see a droplet of blood drip down her knuckles and splatter on the ground. “Vriska open your fists you're hurting yourself!!”

She ignores you and it takes all you willpower to stop yourself from grabbing her fists and opening them yourself, wiping away the blood, and bandaging the blood red cuts her nails are tearing into her skin. Another droplet falls to the ground and you can feel a hidden cry of pain in the way her breath catches, the way her body trembles. 

One more glistening red flower blooms and your willpower breaks. You rush forward and pry open her left hand, sticky with blood, lines of red streaking downward, deep curved gashes slowly spilling more blood on her skin. 

“Vriska...” You don't know what to say, what to do. You would take all her cuts, all her tears, to see her smile. And its really fucked up that you can't because its the worst feeling in the world to watch someone break in front of you and have no idea how to help.

“Dumbass” she whispers and jerks her hand away again. You try to hide the pain you feel at her words, the jagged knife ripping up your heart into little shapes and spilling all the blood out into a boiling pot of disappointment and hurt. 

“Just tell me Vriska. Whatever it is it's not your fault. Its not your fault”

“Everything is my fault. Every single fucked up thing” 

“No its n...” She cuts you off with a fury

“I killed someone John!! Im a murderer!!!!”

No, no, no, no way. Your Vriska isn't couldn't be... a killer? _Or could she?_ A little voice in the back of your head reminds you that the first time you met her she punched her. _What are you doing with a girl like her? You don't know anything about her, about her past, about who she is..._ No shut up! You know who Vriska is, she's not a killer, whatever the reason she had it was a good reason. It could have been self defense, out of fear for her life, an accident, anything!!! _Oh don't even... you're just deluding yourself because you like this girl. Trust me, you don't have the faintest idea what she's capable of._

Her eyes are challenging you now, brazen steel in her gaze as she waits for your reaction, and you know what you should do which is hold her and tell her that whatever the reason that it doesn't make her a murderer and that she's a completely different person now and that everything's going to be okay but you can't. The horror on your face doesn't go away, even when you put all your effort to put the shattered pieces of your emotions back into some semblance of normalcy. 

"Not so forgiving now right?? All that talk about me being a different person, of you not caring what I've done... eight tons of bullshit isn't it? Im a murderer John, that's all I am and all I ever be and I don't need people like you to remind me of just how fucked up I've become."

"wh-why?" A hoarse whisper that you never meant to say aloud.

"Why what?" She laughs a little, a broken raspy laugh tainted with tears. "Why did I kill her? Because it was fun"

Because it was _fun_? Your swallow nervously as your world falls apart around you. 

"Because it made me feel alive, because it was something I was actually good at. Because blood tastes delicious and the trigger on a M1911 pistol is insanely easy to pull. Why didn't I tell you? Because I wanted to forget I was a fuck up for a little while. Because I was a dumbass and made myself believe I could have anything resembling a normal life again. Why did I tell you? Cause it never pays to pretend, because now would be easier than later, because I can't lie to you, no matter how much I want to"

How do you talk again? You had to move your lips and do something with your air right? 

"So yeah that's what you wanted to know, isn't it? Now you know who I am and what I've done. What you've got nothing to say? You were talking fine before, a whole lot of bullshit about its all going to be okay, nothing ever comes out okay, at least not for me. You just couldn't leave me alone could you? No, you just had to come along and fuck things up even more than they already are, well fine, guess what turns out I don't need you!! I don't give a fuck about you or your stupid buckteeth."

Your palm pushes down against the ground halfheartedly, as if to push you up to...hug Vriska? Hold her close and tell her you don't hold it against her? You can't lie to her, no matter how much you want to, because you do hold it against her and however much you wish you didn't it doesn't change the fact that you just stay there and watch as she walks off. It doesn't change the fact that you don't say you're sorry, you don't tell her you love her, you let out a sigh of relief when she turned a corner and disappeared from sight. It doesn't change anything. 

The tears running down your cheeks are poor imitations of the flood inside.

How did you get here? Yesterday, you were happy...

Your eyes red and puffy, your things forgotten in that small little unused hallway of building four you trudge to where you saw the couple of potheads smoking weed. 

"I-Ill pa-pay you for some of it" 

 

You hold out a twenty dollar bill and thats the last thing you remember before hazy bliss wiped away all your troubles.

_I killed someone John. Im a murderer_


	13. She's a Milksh8ke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one with cannabis, dave/jade texts, several ironic metaphors, and a mystery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as many feels as previous chapters but I got to write John on Drugs which was pretty fun :D

"Hey Rose where'd John go? I haven't seen him since lunch"

"If my assumptions are correct then he went to look for Vriska"

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and you are having some very mixed emotions right now. John's your best friend, your poncho, your starcrossed bro, hell you could even say he's your PLATONIC HUSBAND. As such its your duty to watch out for him. He's like a random spaceship flying in a big ass asteroid field and you're mission command yelling at him through the headset "NO NOT THAT WAY YOU CRAZY SON OF BITCH TURN LEFT!!! EVASIVE ACTION EVASIVE ACTION!!!" He does the same thing for you, last year whenever you start to get too chummy with any of the less than responsible chicas(not to diss your school but "responsible" girls are actually pretty hard to find) he would pull you aside and remind you that a Strider's gotta have limits(obviously not in those words, it was a spiel about matching and compatibility and shit like that but basically it was saying to leave Strider Junior for a worthy chick).

So anyway your getting off topic(must have forgotten to take your adhd meds this morning) , like SO OFF TOPIC that astronauts on the moon are all like "Hey Houston bro, we kinda got oursselves a problem here" and Houstons all like "Okay bros whats the jizz and make it quick cause im watching a world cup game" and then the astronauts are all like "Well we kinda found a dude named Strider up here on the moon... apparently he got WAY off topic while he was thinking about his platonic husband and as a result his corporeal form shimmered out of existence for a couple of secs before rematerializing on the moon." and then everything is quiet at Mission Command for like a couple of secs until its REALLY AWKWARD for everyone and then out of nowhere Houston is all like "Well Shit" in a Will Smith/Morgan Freeman voice.

Which kinda makes you wonder who the hell Houston is... Like what if he's some robotic cyborg that came back from the future and is actually trying to sabotage us by sending our smart people out to space and killing them. "Houston why'd you deactivate the oxygen compressor remotely?" " Must follow programming. Mission Objective 252: Kill all humans" Or maybe he's like a secret member of the avengers. Nick Fury and him all chumming it up on the weekends, drinking coffee, comparing eyepatches, and talking shit about the other Avengers. Or MAYBE he's actually like a ghost and the reas...

Okay you know what? This has gone on long enough. POINT IS you are looking for John cause he wasn't in 6th or 7th period and John isn't the type of person to skip classes. You just want to make sure he didn't like fall down in the bathroom and break both his legs or some other lame shit like that. Now if it was just him banging his girlfriend in the storage closet then thats cool you'll have to give him a bro bump later BUT you know John and probably hasn't even rounded first base with her yet let alone experiencing the fucking beautiful sight that is a naked girl. Maybe they're doing sappy romance shit, holding hands and singing duets and all that shit(not that you're into that crap only reason you thought about it was cuz you watched Enchanted with Jade yesterday and if we're going to be honest you wouldn't mind doing that handholding romantic shit with her, getting off topic again man you really need to start taking your meds...) 

Your phone buzzes and you see a message from Jade

_"So im running low on my daily Strider dose... you want to walk me home?"_

_"Sure thing, all you can eat Strider buffet coming right up no charge for the hippie chick in the skirt. Our special today is the Strider Soup made with 100% organic fair-trade strider shades and just a hint of Ben Stillers hair to give it a little bit of oomph. I also recommend licking up the Dave Strider Cheesy Stick of Awesomeness now with 50% more cheese and 100% less puppet intestine"_

_"David Francesco Strider did you just make a sexual innuendo? xD?"_

_"Why did I ever tell you my middle name?"_

_"Cuuuuzzzz you like me!!!"_

_“Sure we'll go with that”_

_“Admit it you tooootally like me!!”_

_“Pshh Jade im a Strider, we don't do like”_

_“Daaaavvveeee come on :(”_

_“But I guess I do kind of like you, ya know for irony and all that”_

_“For irony...”_

_“Yea you know how that irony is Jade, when irony strikes ya gotta listen to it”_

_“Dave?”_

_“Yea”_

_“Why ya gotta be like this?”_

_“Well...”_

_“Oh god don't answer that question!!! It was rhetorical you dumbass!!!!”_

_“It all started in the summer of 96,”_

_“Im done!! Im petition for a divorce on the grounds of you being an insufferable prick”_

_“Shame...”_

_“I know right?? And here I was finally going to start to put out”_

_“Screw you Harley!!”_

_“So soon Dave?? You haven't even asked me out yet!!”_

_“I would pull out my witty retort handbook to counter that not so sick burn with a plague infested bubonic hyperpigmentation that would make babies all over the world break out in tears and cry for their mothers but unfortunately the Strider Office of Burns and Flows is closed. Our office hours are from 8-2 Mondays-Fridays and 7-5 Saturday through Sunday. Leave a message after the beep.”_

_“So whatcha up to? I mean besides getting your ass handed to you by a really cute hippie chick like Moses getting handed sick divine beats from God himself.(how was that one?)”_

_“Jade Harley what was the one condition for teaching you the way of the ironic metaphor??”_

_“Not to use my powers until my training was complete”_

_“Exactly. This sort of thing takes years to master. Anyway nm to be honest... I have 8th free and I should be in the library studying for that test tommorow but instead im looking for John cuz I haven't seen him since lunch and he's not answering his phone”_

_“ Awwww thats totes adorbs!!!! You're worried about your bro :3”_

_“Pshhhh naah its not my business what he does, I just figure if he's passed out in the bathroom or something then I can finally steal back the headphones he borrowed from me”_

_“Well good luck cool kid, don't forget to meet me after school!!”_

_“Yea see ya Harley”_

_“Love you Dave <3”_

_“Love you too Harley <3”_

_“Stay cool”_ You tell yourself as your heart does a little backflip at the sight of the heart emote. She might have gotten you good and wrapped around her finger but that doesn't mean you have to lose your cool whenever she decides to get cute with you. You have a reputation to uphold after all.

Okay time to find John. You've already been to his 8th period, to his locker, to the band room where he'll sometimes go to play piano. No sign of him anywhere. You've texted him, called him, talked to other people in his classes, and you've gotten a whole big fat load of NOTHING. If nothing were worth jack shit then you would really have a shitload of Jack and a jackload of shit. Like you could buy so much shit with your Jack shit even Jack would find it funny, which doesn't change the fact that you have zilch idea where to look. If this were a show this would the part in the episode where you get an anonymous note telling you where to go, or there an epiphany based on some random crap that nobody else but you understands. Like you would see a speck of dust on his locker and figure out exactly what part of the school that dust came from based on geographical differences and then psychoanalyze him to rule out a couple more possibilities and then eventually notice a scuff mark on the ground in the exact shape and form of his sole which would lead you in the right direction until lo and behold you find a BRAND NEW JOHN EGBERT(batteries not included).

Or you could just walk through random hallways and pray that you find him. You know, what you're doing right now. That works too...

*****

 _5 minutes later_  
“Oh shit it actually worked” You mumble under your breath. 

“Daaavvveeeeyyyy” John sniggers before giving you a clumsy falling-against-you-not-really-a-hug hug. “I missed you so much man, I told them you'd come back man but they didn't believe me”

John is... high. Like pop in a pink floyd album and spend the rest of the day in bed watching the walls move around you high. Like so high that fucking Zeus is looking up at him and yelling “Get back down here you ain't allowed to be so high up” Like floating on clouds and drinking wicked elixir while discussing conspiracy theories high. 

“Davey dave dave man I love you bro” His clothes have an almost sour fruit burning leaves smell that you recognize as weed from sitting next to a pothead in Math last year. His eyes are bloodshot and unfocused. 

“Shit John what happened?”

“Dave can you keep a secret?” He puts a finger up to his lips and shushes you before cracking up into giggles and leaning even more of his body weight on you forcing you to stumble backwards to avoid falling. 

“Sure” Maybe he'll tell you why exactly he decided to turn into a mini Bob Marley. 

“Its about Wiskay”

“Who?”

“Wiska Dave but you have to promise to _not tell anyone!!_ ” He looks around wildly as if expecting to see somebody spying on him and drops his voice to a whisper, punctuated only by short repressed bouts of laughter. 

“Yea I promise” You're guessing Wiska means Vriska. Either that or he met a chick with the weirdest name ever. 

“She's a...” His voice trails off as his gaze becomes fixed on your shirt. You would tell him off for stroking your chest with his hand but he's so high it would probably go in one ear and out the other. 

“She's a?”

“Your shirt has a band called broken records?? LOL” Yep he said LOL out loud. If he was so sober you would be giving him so much crap right now. 

“She's a?” You grab his left hand which has started to get a little too adventurous in the area around your nipple and move him back just a little to give you some breathing room. 

“She's a...” He moves in closer and motions for your ear(at least thats what you think he's motioning, his hand is going pretty crazy right now). You turn your head and he leans forward to whisper in your ear. 

“She's a...” His sentence is interrupted with more manic laughter and you bite back a curse. 

He finally stops laughing and leans back in. 

“Milkshake!”

“What??”

“She's a milkshake Davey, a. vanilla, fucking, milkshake and I loooooove milkshakes”

Oh god he's fucking toasted. He's not even toasted, he's like the piece of bread that got left in the toaster too long and its now a burnt pile of ashes. 

You grab his hands on their way to your ass and move John back against the wall.

“Daaaavveeeyy I didn't know you rolled like that” You put your hands on his shoulders and force him into a sitting-not-really-sitting-more-like-slumped-into-a-mess position. You take out your phone because you're going to need help. 

_“Rose meet me after school in building four I need your help”_

_“Jade, meet me in building four after class I'll explain everything later”_

_John pov_

Your name is John Egbert and you feel GREAT. The leaves man, the leaves are amazing like you have NO idea. The guy who sold them to you showed you how to use the pipe. The first breath made you choke and cough but it was all cool because the second breath was much better. It feels good to be alive. And to have friends!!! Like Gamzee, the one who sold you the miracles, he's the bestest friend a guy could as for. 

And Dave in front of you. Honestly he is HOT. Jade's a lucky gal. You remember him from a movie, he was an actor in that movie you liked but you can't remember the name and it would drive you cray but your too busy just thinking and watching the room slip away and hearing his words just sink like water into the background. Oh and blinking. Who knew that blinking could be so much fun? 

Man you could use a cake right now. You're starving!!! This thinking is really hard work and you deserve about 8888 CAKES. You know why? Cause you are solving like MYSTERIES right now. Like just a second ago you were thinking about China, or was it Russia, and you were just thinking about something really important, something nobody else had ever thought of before. What was it? You'll remember soon enough and then you'll like totes write it down because it was golden whatever it was. 

Dave's still talking to you, what's he saying? His words are just too watery and stuff, like when you try to hold water in your palms and it slips away, but its okay because Dave will forgive you CUZ he's like an awesome friend and all that so you don't need to worry about that, or anything really. Its so much nicer to not worry. You look up and are blinded by the light coming from the heavens. Its so bright!!! Blink John blink!! Its like when you've been in the dark for a while and then you go outside and you really can't believe its still daylight outside. 

Gamzee gave you a cookie. Chocolate chip cookie. It was so delicious it was scary. You asked him for another cookie but he said he didn't have any more. He gave you some more motherfucking miracles though, “anything for a friend” Its nice to have a friend like him. 

Oh hey there's Rose!!! Man she is BRIGHT. You know when you look at her Dave kind of disappear, but then when you look back Davey is still there. WEIRD. Maybe you should ask Dave where he goes when you look at Rose, OH maybe Dave doesn't like Rose that could be it. That's really sad, why can;t they just like each other, it would all be so much simpler if Dave didn't disappear from Rose and they all got along and you had another cookie and Gamzee was there and just everything was all right.

Tears stream down your cheeks and Rose kneels down in front of you and draws you into a hug. The hug tastes like chocolate chips. You're not sure how to describe, its like really warm and sweet but also with a firmness and you have like the two different flavors that fit together and basically its just awesome and you feel great because hugs are awesome. 

“Rose why does Davey hate you?”

“Why do you say that John?”

“He disappears when I look at you” She's wiping the tears from your cheek with her handkerchief and the cloth feels really smooth, more like milk than chocolate chip but its great because everyone knows that chocolate chip cookies and milk go really well together. 

Oh hey there's Jade!!! She draws you into a hug, an apple pie hug more than a cookie hug, and you just want to tell her that she's the greatest half sister ever but Rose moves her back and sits back in front of you.

“How do you feel John?”  
“Good” She's funny. How did you not notice that Rose could be so hilarious?  
“Are you hungry?”  
“Yep”  
“What do you want to eat?”  
“Chocolate chips”

Dave chuckled a little at that but Jade shoved him and he shut up. 

“Are you thirsty?”  
“Yep”  
“Do you want anything to drink?”  
“Chocolate chips”  
Dave laughs again and you feel happy because at least he looks as happy as you feel. 

“So you don't hate Rose Davey?”

“Hell no bro, me and Rose are tighter than two Burmese pythons trying to strangle each other.”

You don't really understand what he said but it sounded funny so you laugh. 

Next thing you know you're on Dave's shoulders and you all are going outside and WOW its bright but its okay because maybe they're taking you to the chocolate chips. 

That would be awesome.

*****

“Do you have any idea what happened to John?” Jade pulls Rose back behind Dave so that John won't hear her. 

“A few suspicions but nothing I would be willing to share without additional confirmation unfortunately”

“Does it have anything to do with Vriska? She wasn't in 7th period and I didn't see her when I passed by her locker”

“That is a valid suspicion but only a suspicion at the moment. I do know one thing though.”

“What?”

“I inspected John's phone just now for information that could inform us as to why John felt the need to resort to Cannabis. While he was under the influence of drugs he called Vriska's phone no less than 8 times. I imagine that Vriska will find some very peculiar voice mails on her phone later.”

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've never tried drugs, if my description of marijuanas effects was off then im sorry!! This chapter was based loosely off a party chapter in Perks of Being a Wallflower if you havent read that book then READ IT ITS AMAZING!!!
> 
> Thanks for reading!!!! Next week Im planning to write John and Vriskas first d8te sothats's going to be awesome!!  
> Love y'all


	14. Caaaaaaaall me back Whiska!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ARRRRRGGGHHH WHY CANT I WRITE??????
> 
> SOOO I literally spent like four hours this morning writing a paragrpah and then reading it and then deleting it and then writing another pargarph and then deleting it and WOW my writing really sucks so I apologize in advance this chapter was sSUPPOSED to be like twice as long but my coffee isnt kicking in so im just gonna post it as is. ARRGH I HATE WRITERS BLOCK AND I HATE MY LIFE 
> 
> With any luck Ill finish what was SUPPOSED to be part of this chapter like tommorow or the day after and post it so FINGERS CROSSED

_Voicemail 1: Hello Vriska its John.... Hello Vriska its John.... Hello John its Vriska, hehe I made a funny, im FUNNY. Sooooooo im kind of maybe hehe a lil high. Its okay dont worry, VRISKA youre worrying its okay chill,,, shoooooooooooooooosssssshhhhhhh. I know you're like freaking out right now but EVERYTHING IS PERFECT. You know why??? Because I have tried my first chocolate chip cookie in FOREVER and it tastes deliccciiiooouuussss... You know Vriska... I would TOTES let you eat my chocolate chip cookie, and then I could lick your chocolate chips ALLLLL OOVVEEERR if ya know what I mean... get it? Caaaaaaaall me back Whiska!!! And yes I did say EXACTLY EIGHT a's in call, why? Cuz eight is awwwwwwwwesome!!!_

_Voicemail 2: HEHEHE VRISKA HEHE HELP!!! I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA IM EVIL!!!! EEEEEEEEVIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLL!!!! HA!! You know what the funny part is???? I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHY IM LAUGHING!!! HAHAHAHA. Okay im good hehe I think... hey you should like totes like come down here and meet Gamz. And you couldliketotes like try these leaves, like you have NO idea, this leaves like man theyre better than like donuts man. Oh and they keep talking about toast and its making me hungry so you should like bring sometoast when you come. See you soon Whiska!!!!!!!!_

_Voicemail 3: Whiiiskaaa???, Vriskeeyy?? WHERE OH WHERE COULD MY WHISKE-ERS BE? WHERE OH WERE COULD SHE BE!! So I finished my cookie, and I was totes thinking about how delicious it was and then it suddenly just hit me, like BAM. That cookie was pregnant!!! There's no other explanation!! Like a single cookie could NEVER be so scrumptin. Haha see what I did there?? Scrumptin is like totes one of our vocab words in english. I used a vocab word aren't you proud of me whiskers??? Annnyyyyyhooooooooo so yea, like the only explanation is that the cookie was pregnant. This is like a HUGE deal, I found the worlds first pregnant cookie!!! I could be famous, I mean think of the press!! Oh but wait... I ate it.... WHISKA I ATE A BABY COOKIE OH MY GOD I NEED TO SAVE IT HOW DO I DO CPR??? ILL CALL YOU BACK I NEED TO FIND THIS COOKIE_

_Voicemail 4: AND I'D GIVE UP FOREVAAA TO TOUCH CHU, CUZ I KNOW THAT YOU'D FEEL MEY SOMEHOW,,,, YOU'RE THE SOMETHING SOMETHING SOOOOOMMMEEETHING.... sheeeez! I forgot the rest. Damn. Now im sad... hey do ya think the goo goo dolls are actually a whole bunch of dolls or were they lying? Annnnyyyyhhoooo im gonna go learn the rest of the lyrimagibs and call chu back._

_Voicemail 5: Heeeeeey, it's me again_  
Plaaain to see again  
Please, can I see you every day?  
I'm a foooooooooool again  
I fell in love with yooouuu again  
Please, can I see y- SHITTT!!!  
…  
Oh my GAWD I fell haha thats HILARIOUS!!! IM OKAY THO  
Oh by the way I lost my cookie, do you have any idea where it is? 

_Voicemail 6: Bubble... bubble... BUBBLE LOL I LOVE THAT WORD!!! …. a-and and I love chu!!! You're like my bubble whiskey,,, whiska, vris-vrisk,,, vriska. You're my bubble and I don't, I really don't w-want you to pop. Pl-please don't pop, please don't le-leave me...._

_Voicemail 7: HEY WHINKA!!!!!!!! What were we like even fighting bout? Well whateeeeeeeever it was, it sho-souldn't come between us AT ALL!!! You know why? I have a theory. See like a long time ago, like a couple of months or something before we hajd a whole bunch of awesome schtuff like cookies and leaves and nicolas c-cage movies, there waz like two stars. Gamz over her, HEY WHAZZUP GAMZ, gamzay over here was ell up and telling me boutthe miracles of stars. See first they all up and come up from the sea, in pairs, and then this rally old guy comes and sticks them up on the roof of the sky. Its maaaagical aint it? Well anyhoooooo, way I see it... ya and me are like those two stars that came up together ll bobbing on the sea and chilling, and we kinda got seperated cuz old people cant see really well abut now I found you, so its all good aint it? Its all going to turn out okay ain't it?_

_Voicemail 8: …. hehe I re-really missed up thfis time didjnt i? I shoulda... I shoulda kjissed ya when i had tde chance... whisko, friskey, shit,,, vr-vri,,, god, god fu-fucking dmnit, vris-vrisk, s-sorry i g-guess, fr evrythinhg..._

_gamza left, POOF, h-he dissa-dissapef- DISAPENE GOD DMN IT HOW DO YA SAY THAT WARD????... ma-maybe he went to find his st-star,,, i-i hope hedjoes, people de-deserve... people de-deserve to h-ave their st-star, do-djont you thenk so?_

_i, d-dont...i d-dont even know,,,i mjiss chu...i need you,_

_Oh shit now im crying hehe, I need mo-ore, I n-need more, but theres no more, it-itsall gone andj i uhh dont efen know where it went.... so-somehere over th-thse rainbow maybey?_

_I n-need you vriska_

*****

You wake up to moonlight streaming in from the window. A groggy lethargy keeps you chained to your bed, muting any desire to get up or even think. What time is it? The clock on you nightstand taunts you with its bright flashing neon lights and its perky blue and green colors so its with great restraint that you decide against throwing it against the wall and shattering it into a bagillion little pieces when it informs you that “yes indeed it is 3:30 a full 2 and a half hours before you have to get up.”

Oh god you didn't... the details of last night come drifting back, piece by piece until you have a disjointed separated 1000 piece puzzle of fragments and memories to put together of last night. Did you seriously get high, why the hell would you get high your dads going to KILL you!!! Wait does he know?? The last thing you remember is Dave picking you up and then... and then what happened, oh god you hope your dad worked late or something because if he found out then you are going to get grounded from here till the day you die, why the hell would you do something like that????

Oh.. now you remember why,

_Im a murderer John, I killed someone im a murderer I killed someone murderer kill I murdered someone john shut up shut up shut the fuck up now!!_

Yep you remember exactly why you smoked that weed. 

_Murderer, murderer, murderer, killer, kill her john_

And now what? No gamz, no weed, _no vriska murderer killer shut up!!!_

What would Rose tell you? Thats simple, she would tell you to write down your feelings on Vriska and how you feel exactly about this new information and then she would tell you to compare all your good thoughts about her to all her bad thoughts _murder killer_ and see which one wins but that would require thinking about it _death dying_ which is something you really don't want to do right now because if you stop pretending its something that didn't happen, a dream a hallucination anything, then you are never going to be able to look at her again, and that is something you can't live without. 

You pull out your phone and hover your finger over her contact, three times you press new message and three times you exit out without typing a single word. Nothing happened what happened _murd-_ Nothing! Pretend it didn't happen, you can do that, she never told you anything _kille_ \- right??? So now you're just going to send her a text apologizing for those voicemails right?? Because you were high and god knows what you actually said in them. 

_“Hey Vriska sorry about those voicemails, I guess I just kind of, self destructed or something, and I still can't remember everything that happened just a couple of flashes and thats it... anyway I just kind of want to talk to you... I don't know if , if you still want to talk to me, if you're avoiding me, or I don't know... I guess I'll see at school today_

The tears come afterward, when you toss the phone against the ground not even caring if it breaks and not even caring if its on silent because screw her and her goddamn problems and of course you don't mean that and of course you do stop fucking lying to yourself its not as if you believe yourself anyway so why dont you just shut the fuck up now. 

You walk from one side of the room to the other 88 times. On the 89th you collapse on your bed again in a futile attempt to go to sleep again even though you and every _broken dead_ piece of you knows its a complete lie and that you aren't going to be able to sleep tonight partly because of the effect of the drug in your system and partly because not thinking is hard work and it keeps you awake. 

You're not going to check your phone, you're not going to check your phone, youre not going to check your phone, you're getting up and checking your phone whats wrong with you, there's a message from Vriska don't open it what are you thinking and you just opened it and all it says is _“meet me 8efore school, usual spot”_ seriously thats all she has to say, no “I'm glad you're okay”, “Im glad you didn't walk high into the street and get trampled by a truck” , no explanation for what she said, no “oh by the way John I know you're freaking out because your girlfriend is a psycopathic murderer but its okay because it was actually self defense/ huge joke/ part of a movie I used to be an actor.”

Nothing to do but wait you guess... Its going to be a long 2 hours 21 minutes and 19, 18, 17 seconds  
*****

Her approach is that of an avenging angel, all burning fire and brimstone, the fury of countless burning suns in her eyes as she pins you with her intensity and you can't do anything but stay still and hope you somehow survive this encounter with all your limbs intact. 

“John Fucking Egbert WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?”

“U-umm...” Is there really any right answer to that question?

“No of course you weren't thinking!! Listen up _Egdork,_ I'm the one who self destructs, OK? You are not allowed to self destruct EVER especially because of something I said!! Get that through your thick skull because im only telling it to you once!”The fire in her eyes is a burning ember to the bonfire in her voice and its a wonder you escape unscathed from its wrath.

Is she honestly yelling at you because you got high??? Yea I mean it was a mistake but its not like you didn't have a reason after what she said and she's making it seem like its completely your fault.

“Vriska you cant tell m-” 

“No John, shut up ok!” She interruppts you with the precision of a succubus cracking her whip and not for the first time you wonder what exactly you've gotten yourself into. “Im the one who does all the stupid stuff, im the one who messes up with everyone and fucks up everything and has to resort to shit to not feel and to not think okay?! You're the good one, the one who's nice to people and knows what he's doing with his life and the one who isn't stupid, and the one who probably hasn't fucked up badly once in his entire life and you sure as hell are not going to start now on my watch.”

“Vrisk-” 

“No John I said shut up!!!I ca-cant, I fucking c-can't be re-responsible for you turning more like me... I can't I can't I can't!!!” Her voice trembles on a whole bottled up storm of tears and her hands tremble with anger and sadness and god knows what else and you melt because you can see her weakness and all you want to do is patch her up because if she is this beautiful when she's broken what must she be like when she's fixed?

You reach for her hand, her trembling hand, to steady it, to guide this lost ship to shore, but she pulls away and the flash of sadness that you saw in her is eclipsed by her anger and the steel in her voice which is pressed up against your neck not letting you breathe, choking you and it won't let go.

“Pr-promise me John that you won't pull any shit like this again okay John?”

“I-I promise”

“No drugs, no alcohol, no cutting, NOTHING, okay?”

“Vriska it was a one time thing!! I messed up okay, im allowed to mess up once aren't I” And you don't just mean the drugs you also mean the topic that both of you are avoiding but if she realizes what you're trying to bring up then she's not showing it because she continues to try and pretend like this is just about the weed and its not, its not just about you its about her too.  
“Im the fuckup not you and it better stay that way!!” She's angry at you why is she angry at you if anything you should be angry at her, but it doesn't matter because you can't be angry at her, this girl made of cracked glass, and it doesn't matter what you think and what you know because your heart betrays you. She doesn't wait for your reply before storming away leaving you in her wake of terrible fury and destruction. 

You're still standing there frozen in stunned bewilderment when the bell to go to class rings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FANFIC REC OF THE WEEK- RISE AND SHINE by ROASTPATROL. ROSE VRISKA SADSTUCK and yes at first I was like WOAH ROSE VRISKA????? BUT TRUST ME THIS FIC IS AMAZING LIKE TWICE AS GOOD AS THIS PIECE OF SHIT TAT YOURE READING AND ITS ONLY 17kWORDS BUT IT HAS MORE RAW STORY THAN SOME 100K+ FANFICS THAT IVE READ 
> 
> Quote of the week-   
> "Have you ever been in love Rose?" I asked.   
> "No" She said easily. "Its bad for the circulation"   
> From Striders Edge another fucking amazing sadstuck fic


	15. I Wonder If I could Fly... Fly Far Away

“Hey Roxy!”

“JOHNNY!!! Houuw, how ya doing?”

The girl behind the desk in the front office is quite a sight to behold. Roxy Lalonde is Rose's cousin but thats where the similarities end. Whereas Rose is mysterious, enigmatic, sophisticated, Roxy is bubbly, overemotional, and spaztic to an extreme. 

She pulls out a bottle of red wine from under the desk and chugs it before breaking into drunk hysterics.

“Alcohol's a quirls beeest friend!!” She says in the middle of tipsy giggles. 

You cross your arms and look at her skeptically. “Knock it off Roxy Rose already told me that its just pomegranate juice you keep in there”

“Shhhhhhhh!!” She looks around quickly before leaning in and giving you a wink 

“So what brings you down to Ro-roxy's lair, hehehe?” She spins her chair around the desk towards you and you are suddenly very aware that she is massaging your shoulders with her dainty hands and her face is uncomfortably close to yours and the room suddenly seems much too bright and hot.

“U-umm I actually kind of need your help” 

“Mhmm go on” 

“Theres someone thats kind of been.. avoiding me”

“Could this someone maybe be about 5'6, long hair, answers to the name Vriska, loves to stick her tongue down your throat?”

“Rose told you about her?”

“Pshhhh nuuu, Rosie doesn't tell me ANYTHING... I had to find out all, on, my, own” With each word she taps a long pink nail against your neck making you flinch involuntarily.

“Johnny dear come to Roxy, I can make all, your, troubles disappear!! Hehe” She (finally!!) takes her hands off you and does an improntu spin before transitioning into a gracious swoon against the plush sofa(and by gracious you mean drunk off her ass... a half eaten potato would have had more coordination)

“Hehe I'm draank”

“How the hell are you getting drunk off pomegranate juice???” 

“John, Johnny, johnny boy l-let me te-tell ya a secret” She looks around before gesturing you to lean in closer. 

"This is myyy deepjest scrt kk?" You nod and she continues "I get dru- draank off a little speshiial thing called... liife!" She collapses in giggles against your chest and you suddenly have no clue what anything is anymore. The person in charge of giving you any type of clue has fucked right off to clueland and left you stranded here in non-clue-atopia.

She straightens up and goes back to _being? pretending to be?_ sober(or at least as sober as Roxy Lalonde ever acts).

"Whats your chicks last name?" She wheels back to her computer and starts typing like a banshee leaving you wondering how exactly the keyboard doesn't split in half every time she uses it.

"Serket"

"Yeeep found her, ok here's the deal go in THAT door and just look cute. Put on deodorant, practice your bucktoothed smile, whatever it is dorky guys do to look hot"

You hear her talk to someone on the phone as you walk to the door, too confused to do anything except trust her sound, if possibly inebriated, judgement.

_"Heeyyy Sarah its Roxeeyy over here HOW is my faaavvvoorite teacher eva?!!!... NO, HE DIDNT??? Well listen up Sarah you tell Mr. Gibbs to leave ya aloooone... DANG that guy just can't take a hint can he??... And do you remember what he said to Mrs. C last year? I KNOW ERMYGAWD!!... uh huh...I hear you Sarah... hmm... listen up honey you ever want to talk about it just come talk to old Rox here, you know how much I LOVE talking to you... What's that? Oh yea I actually did have something to ask you darling, I got some hotshots over from Yearbook all up in my grill and they want to talk to a... Vriska Serkaah, am I pronouncing that right?... Yea thats her!! Now I've been telling these hotshots they need to fill out one o' them excuse forms to pull students out a class but they seem so DESPERATE and I promised them I would ask you, ya know what with you being like only the COOLEST teach eva... really?... Darling you are AMAZING! What would Rox do without you? ... Haha take care Sarah, love chu sis!!_

The clock chips away an endless line of wasted nerveracking seconds and you have to force yourself to sit still as you itch with impatientness. 

When the door finally opens its a wave of sound against a glass wall of silence and your facade of cool nonchalantness shatters into a million pieces to reveal the breathless bundle of nerves you were really hoping not to reveal.  
“So _Egdork_ whatd you call me down for?”  
*****

“Come oooooooon John... don’t be a wimp!”

He gulps nervously and shifts his gaze to the sign on the door: _Roof Access: Authorized Personnel Only_

“We’re not supposed to be here Vriska!! What if we get caught or something?”

You let go of the door to take a step towards him and stick your face right in front of his. He’s a little bit taller than you, a fact that annoys you to no end. “You said you wanted to talk to me well then let’s talk... on the roof”

“Why on the roof?”

A little smirk escapes you when you take another step forward and he takes a step back. You’ve still got it apparently. When it comes to getting your way there is simply NO ONE better than Vriska Serket. Not only that but now he’s on a lower step WHICH MEANS that you’ve regained the upper hand. 

“Becaaaaaaaause I feel like it!! You got a problem with that?”

He bobs his head side to side frantically and you decide you’ve been tough enough with him. He is your boyfriend after all, it would be kind of a shame to make him scared of you, or at least more scared than any reasonable person should be scared of Vriska Serket. 

You reach out and grab one of his palms. Its sticky with sweat and you feel him hesitate and pull back slightly when you yank him back up to your step 

“Come oooooooon John!!!!!!!! We’ll be careful and shtuff...”

*****

“This is NOT being careful!! This is like the COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF CAREFUL” 

You are once again JOHN EGBERT and you are FREAKING OUT!! Its bad enough that you’re that your free period ends in like 5 minutes and you have Piano 4 which is like WAY on the other side of the campus and Mr. Kuperman is REALLY STRICT about people being on time to his class AND you’re not supposed to be up here on the roof AND Vriska is definitely not supposed to be up here because this isn’t even her free period AND if someone catches you then its probably suspensions for the both of you and you’ve never gotten a suspension ever so that would kinda suck. All in all not a good situation for you. 

As if that wasn’t enough, now Vriska is totally getting really close to the edge even though you keep telling her to be careful.

“Hey John do you think I could fly? If I wanted too...”

A sense of foreboding grips you and you sense a cold glint of sadness in her eyes that brings a chill to your bones. You are suddenly very much aware of the wind galloping past you, buffeting you with the hooves of the wind horses, unshackled and free. Vriska takes another step towards the edge, only a step or two away from the rusty gutter spanning the border and she spreads her arms to the side making slow lazy circles with her hands, her fingers outstretched as if to pet the wild mane of the wind horses. 

“I think you should step away from the edge”

She ignores you of course. 

Your throat is dry as you watch her place one toe in front of the other, heel in the air like a ballerina and you’re suddenly uncomfortably reminded of the girl from the movie Black Swan. Needless to say that does not help the little voice in the back of your head which is telling you to pull her away from the edge. 

“You can almost hear the wind speak to you, if you listen hard enough” She cups her ear with her hand as if trying to make out a whisper. 

“Vriska step _away_ from the edge” You inject a little poison in your words, diluting the fear, because its not funny whatever she’s trying to do its really not funny and she’s really scaring you why can’t she just _be careful?_

She’s scaring you doesn’t she realize that? Doesn’t she care?

She turns towards you, her back towards the _longlonglong_ fall and her hair swaying perilously in the wind. She could not be more dangerous if she was made of fire, and whoever was in charge of giving you any kind of clue about her, about who Vriska Serket really is, deserves to be fired, then rehired, then fired again.

“Vriska liste-”

She winks at you, a wink that explained all the secrets of the world if you could only understand it, and your breath dies in your throat as her heel comes crashing towards the ground and she falls backwards.

“VRISKA!!”

It all happens much too fast and also much too slow if that makes any sense at all. Every action was instinctive, predestined, limbs moving without any sort of command or orders. One moment you were standing here and the next lunging towards her hand, arm, anything, but it was much too far and her fall was much too fast, and however fast you reacted it wasn’t quick enough. You watch everything happen in slow motion, much too slow because you can’t do anything about it and you can’t breathe and you think too much too much too much what the hell like seriously oh my god what the fuck was she thinking and you see her lifeless body in your vision her back broken beyond repair and the bonfire of Vriska Serket burning out as bright as she lived but much too quickly, much too short. 

She’s dead. 

Except somehow, inexplicably, she’s not. 

The vision in your minds eye was wrong because your eyes watch in disbelief as a gust of air pushes her impossibly out of her downward descent and you watch as she regains her footing on the rusty skin of the roof and you seethe on the inside because she’s laughing her ass off and _how dare she?!!_

_What the fuck was she thinking??_

“Vri-vriska you sc-scared me... what the hell were you thinking????” 

“Pshhh calm down Egdork I was never gonna fall”

“Calm down?? You’re telling me to calm down?? I just had to watch you almost fall because you were being a goddamn idiot and you’re telling me to _calm down??_ ”

“Joooooooohn you need to trust me... I know what im doing” She gives you another wink and you are FED UP with these goddamn winks because they always mess up your train of thought for some reason and you have to remember why you’re pissed at her and AUGHH what is even going on?

“Here I’ll show you” She grabs your hand and you almost fall as she yanks you closer to the edge and WOW this building looks a lot taller looking down from the top than looking up from the bottom. 

“Vri-vriska wh-what are you doing??” You remember that you are a teensy bit afraid of heights and a wave of nausea forces you to look away from the edge and at Vriska’s smirking face, the face you have spent far too much time during the last week thinking of, the color of her eyes, the curvature of her lips forming a guilty tapestry on your bedroom roof as you drifted off to sleep. 

Her mouth quirks one inch higher on the left side when she smiles.

“Do you trust me?” And for the first time today she sounds sincere. Sincere as fucking BANANAS and that’s what kills you. 

_No no no no no no I dont trust you heights scared am heights longlonglong fall_

“I-i tr-trust you”

“Then grab my hand and don’t let go” She doesn’t give you any choice in the matter and your hand is trapped in her vice grip which comforts you a little because if there’s anybody who could fly away its Vriska Serket.

“Now move your right hand in little circles... feel the direction of the wind, the way it moves, the way it pushes forward and pulls back”

You don’t feel any of what she’s saying... to be honest all you feel is a bunch of wind going a whole lot of different directions but hey you’re not going to argue with her.

“Once you start to feel the patterns then you wait until the right moment” She starts to sway back and forth and she closes her eyes as the sways get more and more precarious, one or two almost making you lose your balance.  
She stays like that for god knows how long, probably close to 30 secondss but to you it felt like an agonizing 20 minutes.

“Vriska what ar-”

“Now!” And she falls dragging you down with her. Wind rushes past you making you deaf to everything except the spinning maelstrom that is pushing you down towards the ground and will undoubtedly leave you a broken mess of flowing blood and tangled limbs on the gravel below. Its probably the rush of blood and adrenaline that comes right before you’re about to die but you hear the wind talking to you, a cacophony of voices and hooves stomping in the air. You close your eyes because its too much too fast much too fast and the only lifeline keeping you hooked to any conceivable measure of sanity is the hand you’re gripping for dear life, the girl who will somehow bring you out of this alive because she’s amazing, much too amazing to die anything but a badass death. 

You scream, or try to. The wind takes the sound right out of your throat and for about a second you think this must be what it feels like to drown because you can’t breathe or move and you’re choking choking choking on the wind and you’re falling falling falling much too fast and she miscalculated she had too because no way are you going to avoid getting squished like a pancake. 

Perhaps its you squeezing your eyes shut as if that would help any, or perhaps its you screaming bloody murder(screaming? Pshhhh it was totally a... umm, it was totes a manly grunt of... okay alright you screamed like a girl) but you don't even notice the wind change direction suddenly. The first indication you have that you are not in fact dead is your feet landing squarely back on the tiles and almost tripping in surprise. 

“Woah” Thats the only word that really sums up your feelings on anything right now and you can't help but laugh at the sheer joy of being alive and Vriska's laughing too and you move instinctively and your arms are gripping her tight and you're spinning her around because she's FRICKIN AWESOME and you have NO IDEA how she did that but whatever it was it made you feel alive. 

You spin her around twice and set her down on solid ground giggles overflowing from you like champagne bubbles and you champagne has nothing on the girl in front of you because you are most definitely drunk on Vriska Serket. 

Your arms don't let her firm supple waist go, even as she motions to pull away. You could blame the moment, the adrenaline pumping through your veins, the way her windswept hair makes her look all that more beautiful. You could blame her scent, the scent that banishes all rational parts of you to North Korea leaving only the silly boy that wonders what it would be like to kiss her...

You lean forward and tilt your head to the side slightly and for once your heart isn't racing, your brain isn't telling you that you shouldn't be doing this or that. For once everything isn't going by to fast to hold on too. For just a couple of seconds everything is perfect. 

Her eyes open wide in surprise when your eyelashes brush against hers, you open your lips  
just a little and close your eyes instinctively as you move to kiss her.  
Your mouth brushes ever so softly against her and you let out a moan of protest when she pulls away, putting a hand against your chest. 

“Easy there tiger you haven't even taken me out on a date yet” Your mind is too muddled to make much sense of anything. A heady buzz of pretty girl impaired you pretty well and you might be going crazy but there are definitely at least two flying butterfly critters hanging out in your stomach throwing like a rave and messing shit up.

“Ughh” An incomprehensible grunt is the only response you are able of making as you suddenly become aware of how much of a fool you must have looked like. 

“Words Egdork, I mean I know I'm awesome and shit but even I can't understand grunts”

“S-sorry” You don't dare to pull your gaze up to hers fearing the pity that would tear you apart. 

“Joooooooohn have I taught you _nothing??_ ” The tone of her voice is that of a playful mocking as is her expression when you muster the courage to reflect her gray stormy pupils with your blue ones. 

“Apologizing is for looooooosers... winners just take what they can and damn the consequences”

It must be your muffled thought process that makes that theory seem halfway reasonable in your mind. 

“S-so you're saying I should just steal that kiss from you and damn the consequences?”

This earns a rich laugh from her and you take her outstretched hand as she leads you back towards the door that will bring you back to civilization, to a world that halfway makes sense for a change.

“You could try... I would probably kick your ass though”

“You would _definitely_ kick my ass!!” You dig your shoulders into hers playfully as the two of you descend the staircase and she retaliates by almost sending you tumbling down the 8 or so steps catching you at the last second.

“So then can I have that date I was promised?” You blurt out before your common sense has a chance to crawl back from whatever godforsaken place it was banished to these last twenty minutes. 

She leaves you in suspense for a couple of seconds not even making any sign that she heard what you said. She turns around at the bottom of the stairs to face you and twirl a stray lock of hair behind her left ear. 

“Maybe” She says, quite possibly the vaguest answer to that question ever made and you watch her walk off not even saying goodbye. 

“Is that a yes or a no?” 

She pauses and turns back towards you. “Im going to visit my sister tonight but I'll text you tommorow and see if we can't pull something together” 

*****

Mr. Kuperman gives you a detention because you couldn't stop smiling while he was yelling at you for being late. Apparently he thought you were being “disrespectful” to him and the rest of the Piano 4 class. Oh well...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't really have a whole lot to say... Just came back from a 14 ish hour airplane trip that was FUN XD  
> So right now there's like two main paths that I see this story going and I won't tell you which they are cuz that would take out al the fun but yea Im excited for how it's going to turn out. Im shooting for 80k words to end it so halfwayish :DDD  
> Thats about it just wanted to say that you guys are AWESOME and I love al y'all!!!
> 
> OH!! Quote of the week: "You know who you love? You love the girl who makes you laugh, and shows you porn, and drinks wine with you. You don't love this crazy sullen bitch."   
> And there was something to that, to be honest - Looking For Alaska
> 
> Fanfic of the Week- Manipulat8 by somehedgehogsmarryotters. Does a great job of making Vriska out to be the bitch she is, a lot of fanfics make her out to be this misunderstood angel and thats really not who she is, she's a bonfire not a snowflake and she does burn those who come close

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, tell me what ya think!!!  
> This is only my second fanfic so PLEASE comment and give me some feedback  
> Love y'all <3
> 
> Oh and if any of y'all feel like roleplaying, or chatting bout homestuck, or if you just want someone to talk to(I know sometimes I just want to talk to someone and there aint noone to talk to) feel free to txt me. my phone numbers 407-493-4392 (I promise im not too weird)


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